Yes I am i big fucking head fuck, What the hell is wrong with me, I've cried like seven times in the past two days..What's going on, It's anything in particular That makes me cry, just any old shit, I cried myself to sleep last night and sye didnt even notice, Which made me cry all the more, It's not even like i wanted him to notice, Cos i didn't Atall! But the fact that he didn't sent these thoughts through my head..Does he even care about me?..Why is he with me?...Is he heaing but ignoring me?...Grr i hate me!! He's always being nice in his own little way, He's always trying to make me happy, At least i think, But i just don't see it sometimes, I want everything to be perfect all the time but that's not going to be is it..With anyone, not just me and him, With everything and everyone, I guess i'm just as bad as him, always striving for more..But he's all i'll ever want. [[ I wanna be perfect for you, But that's never gonna happen, So if that's what you're waiting for then please..Leave me now! ]] My dad came..and left, Again! I knew it would happen but told everyone it wouldn't. Because i hoped that it wouldn't, and now it has, What is there to do other than cope with it!? I'm so fucking sick of having no money, then getting money and having none again, Where does it all fucking go!? Stef and Clares wedding soon, so that should be fun. I'm gonna go can't be arsed with this shit..It's times like this when i miss Rach, She could always cheer me up, no matter what, i always left her with a smile, and now i've lost her..Maybe i should stop taking people for granted so much. ~ZoeJay xx