I'm really an idiot, really and truly am. *sigh* Tomorrow is assembly, how FUN. Third assembly of the year, third time I will have had to get up and speak to the school about nothing. But this time we are kind of organised, and I'm not nervous at all at this stage. So yay. Go assembly. I think I'll have to stay after school tomorrow just to finish this damn jacket toile... faaark, I'm never going to get this done. It's Little Christmas and I actually got a present, which was quite funny because the giver of the present had no idea about Little Christmas. =] So I'm playing carols riight now! I miss the Primary School Hymns we sang. I can't of any songs that I want to download, well, I can, but they aren't available, damned society. I think I can do this Studio without going insane. I just have to think about it a little less or a little more, I'm not too sure which. I was "freaking out" about it last night according to the teacher, which is, well, true, but I wasn't going spastic or anything. I was just sitting across from Nicole watching her Gesso her boards and I was transfixed by the brush movement, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards... but I was frowning as I was doing it, and Nicole told me I looked like I was about to cry (probably because I was), which makes sense as to why the teacher then came up and started to talk to us about things. So I effectively wasted an hour of my life last night staying after school to do nothing but stare at a board being Gesso-d. At least she knows I have no direction now, no clue where I'm going, so maybe I'll get some help. Everyone thinks I'm going to be an artist, which I probably will, but I seriously can't see myself doing it at ALL. We were talking about galleries today in theory, and I just couldn't see myself actually creating works outside of something that I was required to do, like school. Then they were talking about 4cats or something, where the Year 12's from the year before apply to have their work displayed, and people buy it. BUY IT. I have no idea why, but something stuck in my throat at that moment... I just don't think I want to do all that anymore. I'd rather be an art critic and talk about others' work all day than create my own. Funny thing was, as soon as I asked for textas, she said she was sure that I'll use them heaps in the future, so I might as well buy them myself eventually, which kind of sounds like she thinks I will continue with it later on. Gah. God, I really hate that I think about it so much. Gilmore Girls is on in 53 minutes, yussssss. I actually did some maths homework, because she said that if we didn't do it then she would kick us out of class. First time EVER. I may have fallen asleep twice while trying to finish, and most of the answers may have been wrong, but I'm proud of myself regardless. SO yeah I would end with photos as I have many but I can't be bothered, they are mostly of Maddie sitting in the art room sink anyway... That and I don't think I've ever put pictures up on here, so why bother now? x