I feel like shit, I wish i never came home. I dont know what it is about my house but i just cant stand being in it. It hurts to much, its like i cant go one day without crying in it, or atleast it has seemed that way for the past few weeks. You know there is only so much before a person breaks down. I mean Everyone in my family doesnt even no me, i mean it hurts to realize that and yet they all just think "oh its Bailey she'll do that" or "Bailey do this do that" "can you get that for me?" EVERYDAY every fucking minute, its like i cant have a break and just relax but then when ever they need to: Oh look Baileys here she'll take over. And me being me i cant just say no cuz thats who i am, I hate it, i hate being me so much it hurts, I cant take the fact that i cry when no one is watching and the fact that i just feel like screaming at everyone who says the slightest thing wrong i cant take the fact that in my family no one really aprecates the things i do for them and only notcies the things i DONT do and yells at me for it, I hate the fact that if i dont notice something they did, or do the things they want i just get 4 people yetlling at me like i cant feel anything, or as if they think that i can just handle it. Or when they yell at you for getting mad over a reason kind of stupid, when just the other day they did the same thing. I know alot of people may look at my life and think its perfect or its a great life or its good and what not. and when i look at it the way they do i feel the same, but they dont notice the little things that make up the big picture, when really its the little things are the things that drive me insane, the things that make me cry, the things i never let other know about me cuz i dont want them to think of me as a depressed gurl that complains alot, so instead i just suck it all up and act like nothings wrong and smile for what i have left, smile for the big picture and not for the things that put that picture together.