Its something that ive known forever but just ignored it, its something thats always been there.. but i needed that night for it too kick in..they just dont care. I could be sitting there hanging from a tree about to kick the chair away and all they would do would tell me not to and for me to stop n how stupid it was.. they wouldnt do anything about it though. they never would, they dont care that much.. i dont belong and i never have, ever since that one time awhile ago i found myself fighting to hold on I should have just left, but i didnt and now im here fighting again but this time i dont know if i want to hold on, i dont know if its worth it, i dont know if i need it like i know i do, I want to just go for whatever time i have left of summer and just be happy, ive forgotten how to be becuase i havnt been and this pain that just came back hurts like nothing i can remember. I miss smileing and i miss just being me..last night i couldnt be.. and i cant be as much as i want to, i have no idea which me to be. i know what one makes me happy and what one makes me normal. and what one i used to be. the one i used to be was how i was.. i hated it and its all cuz i cant go on doing this anymore, i give up...