One day at a time..I mean its day after day that i wake up and realize that nothing is gunna be the same. that i have to push myself to keep getting up and just go to skewl. It went from-yes i get to see everyone- to - ugh not another boring day of being left out- then theres people that think, Oh you know she always has people to be with...but i dont. and then i hear oher complain about in the class and that person is ALWAYS with other ppl, and always in the conversations and if she isnt, people talk to that person, and then theres me..just another person that fills up a desk..I know that in sum cases its not true, but its how i feel on a day to day basis. Its gotten to the point where i just dont care about it any more. i used to and it used to bug me and i would try and talk to people and hang out with them..but now all it is, is the same thing, over and over and its getting worse..i mean yea i have fun with my friends..but i do have other friends that i dont get to see so much, and then with the friends that i do..im getting sick of them..i mean i dont even want to be with the "group" anymore..like the five of us..but i feel like i need to be. I think its werid how we always hang out but its always after skewl..in skewl u would never see "just us five" together. ugh i dunno what im even getting into. I mean i just want to leave them and have them forget about me, I want everyone too..I mean it feels like there starting and its all a good thing cuz then when i feel like leaving again.well like i do it wont be so hard. But i mean i hate everything cuz i just wish i could have what i did back, and my life is like a circle with a whole in it cuz it keeps going back n forth but skipping the main part, the one that made me happy.. the one part that made my life so likable. But yet i dont just wanna keep doing this and hopeing for it to come bk cuz i no it wont. I just want something like it. I mean im loseing friends and im not even leaving them..that sucks..i hate loseing friends and i hate how i know that if i ever were to go bk that they would take me n and i would feel that great feeling again, and i wouldnt have to just say " im excited"..when im not i just say that cuz im excited for the next good thing in my life to come, cuz really i feel like shit and as the days are going on its like more and more things go down for me and more and more of the time i find myself getting annoyed with the same people, doing the same things over n over, and then just following someone around...doing the one thing that i hate..having to follow someone when they give u that feeling like ur just following them just cuz u feel like ur just "there". I hate that feeling and now its all i get to feel, day after day, its like i cant be respected and actually liked as a friend. but i feel like im someone i used to know. and that person..all she ever did was hang around "us" and just kinda follow but noone really wanted her there..we just all let her only cuz noone had the heart to say she couldnt be there.. Bailey.