if you don't give yourself something to strive for, then you have no reason to believe. No reason to believe means no faith. What is there to have faith in anyway? Faith is dead and took belief with it. No Goals is No Future and No Future means Early Death. Put the gun in your mouth, think of your future, pull the trigger. That is all this life has to offer you.

Anti-Flag/Casualties/Unseen....Chicago....enough said Jerkwads Friday/DIM Saturday....enough said Monster Squad/Action....May...enough said tight at the knee, loose at the crotch. TPB! For Life <3 Justin/Metal Mags DUANE FUCKIN' PETERS

who's it gonna be? me or you? i'm tired of constantly having to fight you and everyone and everything you possess everyday. let's end this ::hail of gunfire:: deny me Heaven's pearly gates and deny me passage into Hell. For as long as I'm here, i'm just doomed to rot at least it's all over

I just need a way out. If a high power could smite me, even for 5 minutes...please do so because right now just isn't my time. i feel like vomiting up my intestines. if i could do it without hurting you, i just might. nothing is as it seems. good is bad. i need to accept responsibility for my own actions and stick up for myself when needed let us pray to the life of Ryan David Rush AMEN

whenever you go out, i just get a sinking feeling in my stomach. school is back, been for about two weeks, i hate it already. sometimes i wish i could just leaaaaaaaaave and do something worthwhile. big show with the band coming up. we are opening for one of the biggest punk bands to come out of Indiana, Sloppy Seconds. I'm so fucking stoked. i have a job....also really lame.... i've gone off topic, but i can't help it, i'm trying to control myself. love.peace.unity.... Ryan David Rush IV

one year older, one year wiser, one year closer to porn and tatts. beach was cool...had some fun....drank a lot of beer but now that i'm back it's time for the real partying to begin....lets get drunk and i think i'm gonna try to throw together a punk show in my basement, it shall rule all much love to everybody around the world edit:: basement show WILL NOT happen, turns out mom isn't leaving anyways....fuck that shittttttttttttttt

so it is time for me to leave here from Indiana to enjoy the beaches of South Carolina. Since i won't be here, I think you all should call me to say things like "Happy Birthday" on July 27th, "Ryan, you're such a sweet, cool guy", or "Ryan you are so sexy and we should make out when you get back" 514-0091....that means you...CALL!!

Ska = Love Punk rock with horns = Sex

Warped...2 days bitches....i can't wait....even if most of the bands there don't exactly fit the music style i enjoy. things are better, i feel better at least, i don't know about you. my birthday is a week away too....finally old enough to get into rated R movies....it's crazy.... in another year, i could go to jail and not have my parents know about it, get tatted up, and buy porn and smokes....what a day THE FUTURE IS UNWRITTEN

no no im being childish. I mean, she has ball cancer I'm really sorry brodster thats really sucks a nut. HAH oh I am HILARIOUS

some things are gonna start changing around here. I'm gonna be me....if you don't like it...fuck you cunt. From now on I will be who I want, do what I want, and not give a fuck about what anybody has to say about it. on a friendlier note....I haven't been able to take the new Unseen cd out of my player...it's an amazing album, and that's an understatement. Also Clit 45 and Lower Class Brats cancelled on us last week....but that's okay, I had a great fucking time with my friends just hanging around. Summer needs to come....plans are already starting to stir and all this school shit at the end of the year really fucking sucks.

so next tuesday is when The Unseen cd finally drops. the shit i've heard sounds awesome and hopefully i'll have some money to get it, i need a damn job, i'm a broke fuck. anyways next friday Lower Class Brats, Clit 45, The Vexed, Red Light City, and Nowheregoodfast.....hooooly shit it's gonna be crazy....poor little Dicks is gonna get destroyed ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit.. so let us all go and enjoy the rest of out day and hopefully get sloppy drunk later eh?

Congrats to Spain, One step forward for human rights. Fuck Texas....a total disgrace to human rights. Fuck Texas Fuck Bush Fuck Prejudice

Even tough guys need someone sometimes...aww Cock Sparrer...It's so true. So anyways, the All Ages Punk Rock Night is not being held by Bubbas Bowling any longer. A few kids decided to drink out in the open and fucked it all up for everyone else. They're looking for a new venue now and hopefully they will find one soon or i would be quite emotional. The sohw this past weekend was really cool. Got to hang out with Spitt who I don't see too often. Hung out with Colin and Mitch, Mitch's girlfriend and her friend Anne. Anne was really cool and nice. I hope I can talk to her again. Anyways...well PRN shows only being held to the end of the month, we are tring to go to the last remaining ones. We even got booked April 23rd, it's gonna be cool shit. We've been writing and are ready to get up there and rock the fuck out. So bring your mother and sister and come on and dance the night away...word up oh on a lighter note....i got a new car....that's cool i guess....anyways...come to our show...it will be awesome

I am amazed at the amount of ignorance this country/the world has to offer. There's this kid in my english class that thinks he has to be part Nazi because his great grandfather was one. NAZI IS NOT A RACE YOU FUCKING DUMB CUNT. He also tried to tell me that if i was gay i should just move to Canada or some other country because i was fucking up America's morale fiber. We are not a morale country....look at this fucking war. Yesterday I was in a neighborhood park and almost got stabbed by some 11 year old kid because i pretended to be gay with my friend Kelly. They walked away chanting "No more Fags." So I told him i bet he would like it if i put my dick in his mouth. He then pulled his knife on me....it was a boy scout knife...funny shit. If you oppose homosexuality or same sex marriage...fine. You have that right. Go out and protest it with your heart full of hate. But don't go and threaten to kill someone, because that is just Republican. And don't tell somebody to leave the place they were born and raised. Everybody has a right to live wherever they choose regardless of race, gender, or sexual preference. And the next motherfucker spewing some of that shit to me, will guaranteed get his fucking ass kicked. So all of you fucking white power neo-nazi cunt mooks....stay the fuck out of my way. ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.....you say the pledge of allegiance everyday you fucking hypocrites....homosexuals are people too... And yes, i'm well aware the first part of that is from the Constitution.

Spring Break is finally underway. as it turns out, i'm not going to visit my grandparents. so what is an Indiana boy supposed to do with a whole ten days at his disposal....get drunk and fuck shit up...yeah sounds about right so fuck Florida....Indiana is where it's at. PS...i still need a car PPS I'm forever in debt to Mark for giving me a ride....he's fucking rad. PPPS I hate you you fucking cunt shits

I went to the dentist the other day. They put in a permanent retainer....fuck. I didn't know they were gonna put one in until I was sitting in the chair....god dammit. I have athletes foot too. I'm just sexy right now for real. Bleh Band practice tomorrow....is something gonna get done? doubt it, but i will waste the Saturday away anyways. Punk Rock Night is having a metal night...what the fuck. Everything is pissing me off....i don't understand some things....what bullshit. St. Patricks Day is soon. Man, the weekend after, time to get fucking sloshed beyond reason. No thinking, just drinking. Yes, that shall be it EDIT I already broke the fucking retainer. How does something not outlast a brownie...fucking tarded. Band practice today, and again...another waster of a saturday i could have spent watching cartoons or masturbating. Colin did get his head for his half stack, that's groovy i guess.

I saw the lineup for Warped Tour 2005 today. When did this become a fucking emo/screamo tour? I don't have anything against the music, even if you think my username says differently ( the name is actually a song from a band talking about how punks take it too seriously about being punk) So far the only great bands I see on there are The Explosion, Dropkick Murphys, HorrorPops, The Transplants, The Unseen,Tsunami Bomb, Strung Out, and Strike Anywhere what the hell....last year's tour was fucking amazing filled with fucking amazing bands...and this year so far has gone down the shitter. Blah things have to get better, they have too. This is the best fucking festival all year gooooooood dammit.

well shit it has been a really long time since i have last graced you all with being here. Grades got turned in today...Straight As for the first time ever...that's pretty cool i guess. I got to dissect a sheep's heart in anatomy...that was kinda rad. my new band, The Justice, has found a drummer and a bassist to jam with, so maybe we might actually have a full band soon....that would be really cool. I still dunno what's gonna happen with the old band, but it doesn't look too good right now. well ladies and gents....this will hopefully be a weekend of drunken debauchery...there has got to be some good brew around here somewhere. oh well....cheers

V-day is tomorrow....hopeless but fuck it. Money holidays anyway....capitalism sigh. anyways on to more important news....my buddies in Blame it on Rio have new mp3s up that I would like you all to listen to. www.purevolume.com/blameitonrio if you don't like screamo...don't listen....but I can bet you it's some of the best shit you will hear....fuck The Used and Hawthorne Heights....check 'em out