I haven't updated in here for awhile. The site is usually down when I want to make an entry and I end up making one in LiveJournal. I really don't like that site very much but sometimes when I feel like typing and no one is online, I write in there. But anyway. I'm going to New Jersey from August 2nd through the 9th. It should be pretty fun because I've never been there before. But I don't know. I'm not as excited about it as I was before. I guess because I won't get to talk to Mike everyday for as long as I would like to. The only time we will talk is when I call him. I'm not sure if we'll be able to talk for very long, but I don't know. I'll just have to see what happens. I stayed over at Elizabeth's house on Tuesday night. But then decided to stay over there on Wednesday night too. We had fun. On Tuesday night we rented and watched Dude Where's My Car?, and Alien. Dude Where's My Car? is so FREAKING funny. Elizabeth and I laughed for a really long time after that. Then we watched Alien. We expected it to be scarier than it was. I mean. There were a few parts that made us jump. But it just wasn't the type of scary that we were really used to I guess. Okay. On Wednesday night we rented Hangman's Curse and Ferris Buellar's Day Off. We only watched Hangman's Curse because by the time that was over it was already pretty late and we knew that her mom would want to go to bed soon. Since we had been watching the movie's in Elizabeth's mom's room. But anyway. After that we went into her room and watched tv for awhile. But then after awhile we got online for like twenty minutes. We didn't stay on long because I told her that I was going to call Mike at 11:00, so she said that she would get off the computer by then. But then when I called Mike he didn't answer anyway. So, I called him and hour or so later and he answered. We were on the phone until like 4:00AM. I knew he had to get up at like 5:30AM. I felt kind of bad after we got off of the phone because he wouldn't get too much sleep. Ahh well I guess though. It was so funny. Elizabeth and I were watching tv after I got off of the phone and she had fallen asleep for a little while. But when she woke up, out of no where she blurts out "ONLY SEVEN MINUTES LEFT!!" I stared at her funny because I wasn't sure what she meant. Since the tv was on I thought she meant that the sleep timer on the tv was on and the tv would turn off in seven minutes. I realized I was wrong because she kept moving her eyes from left to right wondering why the hell she had just said that. It was pretty funny. But I guess you had to be there. Lol. Okay. Anyway. Now to talk about Mike. Well, we all know that he's like so perfect and I love him more than anything that I've ever loved before. Gosh. I would never leave him for anyone else because he's the ONLY guy for me. Ahhh. I just love him more than words will ever be able to explain and I know he knows that. I have no idea what I would ever do without him. I want to be with him forever. School will be starting like August 23rd I think. I need to read my books and do the reports pretty soon. I wish I could get it done before I went to New Jersey so that I didn't have to worry about it. I know I could do it if I wanted to. But I'd rather not. I don't like to do things last minute but I just don't feel like reading. Oh well. Il'l get it done sooner or later. Going to high school is going to be so much different. I want to go so bad because I'm just happy to get out of my middle school. There's going to be so many people to meet. I'm not really a big social person. Well. Okay. I'm not social at all. I have Elizabeth and a few other friends that are sort of close. But. They're all going to Riverdale and I'm going to Grace King. Like. It kind of sucks that right as I'm beginning to get closer to Dahlia like I used to be, school is already over and we'll be going to different high schools. I told her that we're still going to have to stay close because I don't want to not be friends with her. That would suck. We already broke apart because. Well. I'm not really sure of the reason. It was over something so stupid. But. We just need to stay friends. I was telling Elizabeth last night that I'm not going to high school to get a new social life. And that's true. I know that I will develop one but I don't want to concentrate on that stuff. I need to do good while I'm in high school so that I can get into L.S.U. That's all I want to do. I want to be in the top of my classes and get into L.S.U. It's going to be hard because I'm not really the type to be on top of my school work but high school needs to be different for me. I need to pay attention to everything, and make good grades. I know that Elizabeth doesn't really care about high school. She wants to go but I only think she wants to go because SHE wants to develop a new social life. We're so different in a lot of ways. She likes to go out and hang with a ton of people and get drunk and stuff. I don't. I'm not shy like I used to be. But I just don't like big crowds of people. It doesn't bother me but I'd rather just have a few close friends than like a ton of friends. I've always been that way. Every now and then I begin to think that sooner or later Elizabeth and I are going to grow apart because we're beginning to become so different. I hope we don't though. But yeah. I'm going to try to get all of the help that I can while I'm in high school so that I can do really well and get what I want. I just want to be able to understand everything. I hate being left behind and I realize that the only reason I end up like that is because of only my mistakes. I need to break the habit of being lazy and I need to get all of my work done like I should. I feel like my summer is just going away so fast. Like. A month and a half have already passed and I only have about a month left. It sucks. It's weird because I do want to go to high school because I want to get started on everything but then I don't. Sleeping late never tends to fail me. I need to start going to be a little bit earlier though. I don't think that going to bed at like 4:00AM every day is too healthy. Lol. Alright well. I think I'm done with this entry. I need to start writing in here more often. Mike should be home pretty soon. Well, I hope anyway. I love him so much. I will forever. Night everyone. ^_^ "Wishes" Sometimes I wish I was invisible so my feelings didn’t show, But even then I think somehow you’d know. Sometimes I wish I had you to hold my hand and not let go, Because if you held on forever I doubt I’d ever know. I wish I understood why I find myself crying for no reason at all, Maybe now I would understand if I had answered your calls. It’s hard for me to admit that everything we had is now gone, It’s even harder to realize that every relationship ends after so long. I hate myself for leaving and saying it would all be okay, I hate not calling you like I used to everyday. I hated to hear you cry because I knew I caused all of your pain, I hated not telling you I loved you but I had to refrain. Waking up with you not there hurt me more than you could ever dream, It made me cry for weeks even though happy I did seem. I don’t want to lie anymore like I have for so long, But maybe you were better off without me all along.