It's too bad i think.
Sometimes when i get emotional i tend to over think things rather then just enjoy the moment. Rather then enjoy my time with Mike, i have this annoying habit of making myself and him hurt. I'm on an endless search for "the one" and instead of trying to enjoy my precious time and summer with Mike, i have to sabotage what is extremely happy for he and i by contemplating whether or not to end it now since were too young for marriage. This is, i know, i ridiculous idea. It's as if I'm so set on marriage and future life that i cant enjoy right now. I don't want to be one of those crazy girls who only search for marriage material when with someone. It's preposterous to think that right now is the time for me to be contemplating marriage. I'm fucking 18 years old, and i have 4 more years of school left. Why must i think that right now is opportune time for thinking about marriage? I'm might be a bit crazy, and emotionally unstable, but damn it mind, i want to be happy and your entire existence is hindering so.
STOP THINKING!
It's like I'm trying to spare my feeling rather then get hurt again or possibly, even worse, for me to hurt him. I hate the thought of loosing someone who in time, will be one of my best friends.