Mental breakdown of the century : Today.
Most of the group decided to go to Primo's for pizza and dinner. While there Mike accidentally spilled soda all over my and by bag. I got up cleaned myself off and threw down $12 and left. Mike followed me. I kept telling him to go back and eat so i didn't waste my money. He followed me anyways. We got back to his house, my new found home, where Matt saw me and asked if i was alright. "Fuck off" was my retort. I walked inside threw my bag in his room and went to the bathroom to was off the soda... where i then cried for 5 minutes. I went and picked up my bag and went into the living room where no one was since Mike was in his room. I began to wash off my bag and empty it since everything was coated in soda. I then bust into tears again where Mike just held me and made me feel better.
Since my dad is leaving, i feel somewhat like hes leaving me. We have a very strange relationship where he and i hardly ever see each other. When we are together though, we never speak. Me actually going to college hit me all at once. Leaving all my good friends, where i will hardly see them while away. Being so far away from Mike. Not having my best friends near by like Mike and Rachael. I would include Marissa but her and i haven't spoken kindly since she left the day after graduation on the 7th.
I'm not very good with change. It's not something i have been accustomed to or i can acclimate to easily. I'm excited for college, just terrified of loosing all the people who mean a lot to me. It was just this year, the first time in my life that i actually have true friends like Mike, Rachael and Sara. I'm terrified of loosing a lot of people who mean so much to me. And my father leaving, with this to be last of the time we truly live together. Even though hes usually a nonentity in the house, it will still be so difficult for me to actually have food in the fridge, to not trip over his boots, or find large amounts of dirt on the floor he tracks in, and lastly wake up to the sounds of him making coffee and packing his lunch in the wee hours of the morning. I will miss him.
I know what you mean about change. But you will be able to visit him, and your mom. Probably more often than you'll even want to.
I know it's just empty words at this point, but I hope they help some.
Hope everything is better for you.
<3