Sarcastic Racism my dad is given a pocket knife from my uncle a few christmases back. dad: "hey thanks. these always come in handy." uncle: "you can use it to cut the mexicans with!" Paranoid Racism i'm sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office and three somalians are called in and leave a used kleenex on the ground behind them. an old man walks in, pushing his wife in a wheel chair. man, to no one in particular: "goddamn somalians! they have no concern for property! there's a couple of them over there, too," motioning across to another waiting room. "they're infesting this whole country. goddamnit, they're taking over and they have no concern for this nation! . . . goddamn somalians." Positive Racism i overhear two people talking about some math homework they don't want to do. girl 1: "i have so much fucking math homework to do. i'm never gonna get this all done. girl 2: "why don't you ask that girl over there to do it for you? her eyes are a little squinty. she might be part asian." Silly Names Racism my friend tells me what his dad says when he sees a somalian shop with traditional somalian food. friend's dad: "no one in their right mind will buy that shit. damn jungle bunnies." Traditional White on Black Racism i am having a cigarette with a girl outside an art museum. a little black kid, of maybe 7 or 8, is watching us. girl: "hey, why don't you ask him if he wants to join us?" me: "nah, that's okay. he'll be into the scene soon enough. i predict he's dealing coke in about 2 or 3 years." Reverse Racism two mexicans or hispanics or whatever you want to call them have just bought a pack of cigarettes. i am walking into super america to buy my own pack of cigarettes when i overhear their conversation. hispanic 1: "yo, i can't believe that bitch id'd me. fuckin' makin' me get out my wallet and shit when i got the cash right ther' in my hand." hispanic 2: "fuckin' crackers. always getting all up in our shit."