got a single silver bullet
shot right through my heart
to prove I can survive without you
I hate crying. Your face gets all contorted and it hurts. Your throat feels like you swallowed a golfball. Your nose runs like it's in the olympics.
I should be happy. You know? The fact that i'm going to see my [second] favorite band tomorrow should probably make me happy. But i'm so pissed off and upset right now that I just can't.
I think it's my hormones. I did start today. And I was being a total bxtch today. Little things have just been setting me off all day. One thing I hate the most is being ignored. I just HATE that so much. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I'm pretty used to it.
And the fact that I have so much drama in my life right now. I'm not making it about me, but I just really HATE drama. That's why I always try to stay away from it. But this is inevitable due to someone's selfishness immaturity. I hate seeing him like that. It makes me a wreck. I hate seeing anyone I care about like that. He doesn't deserve that. And I love her to death but I don't approve of what she's doing and I don't think she truly understands exactly what it is that she's doing. And you can't just blow this off and say "whatever." It's not a 'whatever' situation. I hate how someone's making it out to be like that. I don't know anything about relationships, but I know enough [about theirs] to know that this shouldn't be happening.
Tomorrow will come and i'll be happy. At least, I should be.
Not to sound emo and whiny, but I just wish my mom would understand more. I know that sounds horrible and overrated. She seriously doesn't. She doesn't understand when to leave me alone. She doesn't understand when to just drop it. And most of all she doesn't know how to be a caring parent. Sure, she helps me when i'm sick and things like that. Dustin actually helps me more, but that's okay. But she seriously doesn't. I bet if one of my friends died [god forbid] she would be like "you're going to school and I don't care." I don't get why she makes me go to school.It makes me hate it more and my attitude with that will NEVER change. I can guarentee you that. She needs to let me do what I want. Am I doing drugs? Am I sleeping around, destined to get pregnant at the age of seventeen? Am I drinking every weekend? Every day? No, i'm not. The only major thing wrong with me is that i'm lazy. Well that's how I am and that's the way it is. Deal with it. I don't feel like changing right now. I'll more than likely regret it later on but that's my decision and no one else's. Just let me live my life.
Shine on diamond eyes.
3:03PM
Shine on diamond eyes.
3:03PM