I woke up feeling unusual this morning. I was not faster not more able to deal with the day, not even more intelligent. Colder though, somehow. As though my body was trying to remember how to be someone else, though it never had been him in the first place. I spent yesterday evening with Sam and Rachel. Sam was a bit unexpected, but Rachel was worse. I wanted to see her more, and somehow I didn't. She and Sam Bantered like siblings while I stayed perfectly still. As though afraid to startle such a wild animal. She left anyway. Sam and I went to Hastings where Sam acquired some birthday gifts. "Does it bother you" was all he asked concerning his purchasing habits "No" I said, adding with some thought "I am pro choice in a non-abortion kind of way." "Ok." he nodded, "If I ever get caught, hypothetically of course, you can just deny that you knew and I will tell them you didn't know." He paused for a while, then prodded cautiously, "So do you think people should be allowed to have an abortion." "I think it is their choice. Though it shouldn't be something they could do on a whim." "what do you mean on a whim?" I explained myself, meaning that it shouldn't be a quick or easy decision, and then I began to think about God. I felt guilty, I had gone to Hastings on a Sunday. I hadn't purchased anything, and neither had Sam, but It didn't change that fact. I also had another, more philosophical line of thinking. If God sacrificed so much to give us choice, why should we try to take that from anyone. Understandably the choice was still there, but no longer a safe reasonable choice. Why is it our place to guide the decisions of others with laws. I Noted to myself that laws that protected others were important, but what about trivial things, that don't involve protecting people physically. Where do we draw the line and say that it is not in societies interest to protect at such an involved level? I thought of all the bad legislation that was causing people grief, simple things like zoning laws, gun control and internet regulations. Were they breaches of the freedom this land was built to protect. I doubted zoning laws, but not so much gun control. Sam and I returned to his home where he had some tea and I talked for a minute before returning to my car to head home. When I got to my van and started it the gas light was already on, waiting for my nervous glance and quite prayer. "Please god, I just need to make it home and to a gas station." I didn't ask entirely as I should have, but he gave me the ride home anyway.