it has been a few weeks since i have last updated. i am so veryy sorryy. just know that i haven't forgotten about everyone. todayy has been treating me horriblyy. to the point where i should never have woken up. even though i didn't get out of bed until 600pm. a certain mr. lust and i have been talking a lot more. at first, we talked backstage, then through myspace, then on aim, and now, we even talk on the phone. i've told him a lot more than i should have. youu know, some of the things i can onlyy sayy through sitD. in hopes to get closer. but we're still onlyy strangers. strangers that don't sayy a word in person. except maybe a simple hello, and then we move on. things are quicklyy falling backwards now. it's been a week, and the silences are killing me alreadyy. i need chocolate. like right now. and i don't even like chocolate. how's that for a contradiction??