Today I went walking with Alanna, Nicole and Melissa. It was brilliant. We made it to the city, well, minus Alanna, because she had to go to New Caledonia halfway through. And the first glimpses of Federation Square were the best. I am so pumped: I am in love with the city, and the fact that we made it through the haze, and the art, and the love love love OH it's all so good. I love this. I hated my depression, and even though it will be most likely back for another hit any time soon, I love the world today and THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. I wish people knew I was depressed, but at the same time, I don't want to burden them. I was in a particularly terrible state from last Friday onwards, in fact, probably from the whole of last week, but on Friday I was so scared that I made someone upset by my anger that I wanted to hide in a corner and cry. I wanted to explain my anger. I wanted to explain why I took it all out on her. I really did. But I couldn't. There were too many other people around, and besides, I didn't think she would care. And that would have hurt me the most. But what I have realised, is that despite all the crap, yes, life is good. I can get through it. So what if I will never be as good as those people in Top Arts or Top Designs or Top whatever the hell they are top at. Screw that, I will not get upset by it, I will embrace my chosen theme and run with it. I also realised that the person I am most jealous of [which I finally admitted] actually has very little. Her friendship group is a shambles, in reality, she has no friends. Which upset me so much that I took it upon myself to find her some friends, because I cannot see this girl suffer so much. No wonder she is clingy and follows the art teacher around constantly. It is the one thing she is good at, and like me, she obsesses over it, clings to the small hope she has of succeeding, and most of all, wants the teacher to be proud of her. It is her entire life. Which is true for me, I suppose. Art is my entire life also. But she needs it more than me. I can let it go for her. I can let her win, just so that for once, she will smile, and realise, like me, that she doesn't have to obsess over it. She can be free. We are more alike than she'll ever know. [Besides. I always beat her at essays. Go me. *gloats*] 22 kilometres and I have become a deluded hippy in love with the world. WHEEEEEE! x [-and .buying pattern a demain .design tech holiday class .dancing[last?] .marie's 18th .working[sorry michelle] .next-wedstudio&yearbook[apology] .next-satnadine's 18th .tues-followingschool[crap] end-]