its just strange right now. my parents are trying to bring this family back together because of whats happening. but i mean, i wish i could. i truly do. but how can i get over hatred thats been with me my whole life, they cant force me to love them again because of this situation. ah, i know. im horrible daughter. blahblahblah. maybe if i understood the problem, but i cant because no one knows the problem. its just not even making sense anymore. its force love which im not going to give them back. ive been the third child for all my life. i dont want to sound selfish, but like its never me. its always ryan has a problem or wheres cody, is he out smoking weed or drinking and shit. and then i come home and get all the blame on me. ah whatever. its done. i wish someone could tell me whats up, so i at least can be understanding of this. but im out of the group and i just want to be happy for once in my life. im already depressed and this will just make me more. so what the fuck am i supposed to do. i wish i knew some answers, thatd be amazing.