new plan: i want a nice boy.. who is just as fucked up as me. damnit i hate writing long entries so here's a summary of my overwhelming day: x. i woke up, ate breakfast &the day started out calm &collected. x. played scrabble, my cousin got on my nerves but i kept quiet. x. went swimming with my family, did water aroebics &felt great after. x. my mom promised me she'd buy me a ticket for warped tour. excited, got my hopes up. x. went to the movis, but didn't see amovie cause both my mom &grandma lost their cards &had no cash. x. no warped tomorrow, no kerria show tonight cause it "costs to much &i have bad grades anyways." eventhough she promised warped. all hope crashed. x. huge fight with my mom, lots of guilt trips &yelling. x. got teary eyed, almost cried in the car, but i don't cry in front of anyone, not even my mom. x. ended with me running up to my room after realizing &telling my mom i don't deserve anything she does for me. >> conclusion: i didn't get to go to the 2 things i wanted to go to most this summer &my self-esteem is even lower than before. everything is going completely downhill. > i can't wait to get back into orcutt with old friends. it's just what i need, just where i need to go. i need to clear my mind &maybe not even think about anything. P.S. this entry was much longer before.