lately i've been feeling... i don't even know what i'm feeling. my body is never as alive as it used to be. and neither is my mind... i'm always hoping that things will get better, but i never try to make them better. when the hell is something interesting gonna happen?? my bestfriend tiffaney, who i love to death, might be moving away for a long while & i don't know what i would do without her. she was the onlyy reason i didn't move back to santa maria. with her gone, i'll have nothing. but if it's what she wants... i can't stop her. i just hope she knows i do love her, i'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with me lately. i've said muchhh to much. and i should stop, but i have so much to say, and let off my chest. lately, the simplest emotional things on tv make me want to cry. and i haven't done that in god knows how long. i'm so goddamn sick of boys. it's like i'm just a fucking hook-up to them, and that's it. i'm not just a piece of ass, i have feelings too. there's a boy who i adore right now... but i don't know what's going to happen with him. i would love to be with him, he's a sweetheart... ♥ i'm so insecure and self-conscious, that i don't let my personality come out. so that is all everyone sees. i'm better than that, i know i am. editXcore: i'm going to be with this boy =] and we're gonna have the best relationship ever. no doubt about it ♥ ♥