Listening to: john mayer ♥
Feeling: blah
a thought or more.
that boy i saw again had a different range in my life. he was a boy who never made me smile as much as i do now. my heart was torn so i had him as a cover-up, but it was so obvious i was hurt. it's not healthy. no it's not healthy in the least. neither is this method i use to kill the beast. nights are held down by cheap vodka &expensive cigarettes. my heart is holding back because of the one who broke it for dignity. it's not like i chose to hurt like this. my mind circles &it always seems to turn back in time. it rewinds but pauses in a moment of pure bliss. fowards back to the present time &wrecks it til the tape is runied. spits out, goes back in &then does it all over again. the broken record hits a scratch &my heart skips a beat. but the tone of his voice always keeps me at normal. whatever that is;; it's not like he chose to hurt me like this. but good intentions are never enough. he's so delicate but i'm the glass placed right side down. shaken up but holding on by a string. when it's cut by the knife let me know, cause i'll never realize what i say or do or think. act as if you thought i was perfect. then be dissapointed by my personality. so maybe i'm not all what you thought me up to be. the only time i'll care what you think is when i'm breathing. talk to me &let me know you care. then say you'll call me &then never do. they are all the same but you proved me wrong. they are all the same with a few exceptions. tell me you like me then say the same thing to the prettier girl;; it's nothing i've never delt with before. tell me you love me then break it off because you're bored;; it's nothing i've never heard before. i'll forgive you when you give me that look &hold me like you'll never let go. well darling, never is a long time.
♥
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