Evaluating

by iaminsane
Feeling: contemplative
Cigaro My cock is much bigger than yours, My cock can walk right through the door With a feeling so pure.. It's got you screaming for more. Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO My shit stinks much better than yours, My shit stinks right down through the floor. With a feeling so pure, It's got you coming back for more. Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Can't you see that I love my cock? Can't you see that you love my cock? Can't you see that we love my cock? We're the regulators that de-regulate We're the animators that de-animate We're the propagators of all genocide Burning through the world's resources, then we turn and hide Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO We're the regulators that de-regulate We're the animators that de-animate Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO Cool, in denial We're the cruel regulators smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO My cock is much bigger than yours, My cock can walk right through the door With a feeling so pure.. It's got you screaming back for more! Over the past couple of days i've been evaluating my life, and especially my relationship. So basically, i've got to pull a miracle out to get all my college work done in time. I do really want to go to uni, but I feel i'll only be letting my dad down if I don't. I really need to crack on, I haven't got long before it all needs to be in and marked and sent off. 2 weeks top! My car has still got scratches on the front bumper, but the brakes are sorted. When I get the new tyres on I shall have the tracking looked at, seen as I'm pretty sure it got knocked out with hitting the kurb. I need to neaten out those scratches, I can't be going to the FCS with them looking like they are. My job is ok, I still don't think i'm getting paid enough, and I'm still trying to sort out getting my tax back. Other than that I don't have a right lot to complain about. My relationship is causing the most problem. I do really like Hazel, and I can't wait for her to move out, so I don't have to sneak around, but I can't help that think her ex is still going to be a major problem. See Hazel has a 3yr old, with luke. This guy is a psycho, and it's his kid. He doesn't seem to like reason though. I'm not scared of the guy, if he touches me, hazel or my car, it'll be the last thing he does. I just can't help but think he's always going to be a factor in the relationship, no matter what Hazel says. So I've been putting some serious thought to the whole thing, and still am. I'm beginning to wonder if it's all worth it? Do I want a relationship with someone that has a psycho for an ex? Do I really want to be going to uni (if I go) with ties, knowing that I can't do a think while i'm there? Is it all really worth it? I thought I had my life sorted. Seems not, the only good part about my life at the moment is that fact i'm no longer in debt to anyone. A small conselation in an otherwise fucked up life at the moment. I dunno whether to tell my dad about college, I can see him being really disappointed, althought I've got a fair bit of work done over the past week. I don't think i'm going to be able to get the marks for uni. I thought about a modern apprenticship, but they ask what i've been doing for the past 3 years? I say, oh well I got kicked out of sixth form, and I failed two years at college? Not gunna look good. I feel my life is losing direction. I have nowhere to turn, no-one to talk to that will give decent advice. My dad will be disappointed, my tutors at college will just laugh and say, tough shit. My mum will probably beat me up :P. Again I wish someone could just take over my life for a couple of weeks and sort it all out for me. But that isn't going to happen. I need to buck my ideas up. >=[
x
Read 9 comments
i totally love your diary. come visit mine. i have tons of pictures but somehow a lot of them didnt show up. we only have like 1 comment so i think we should quit.do u?
lol, thanks :P
hey hunni don't get too down and i'm always here if you need to talk i may not be able to give you the best advice but i'll sit and keep shush while you let it all out.hate to think of you really upset.as for hazel take some time for yourself and think it about all the little details carefully and your head will come to the right decision(cos i know your really smart :P)
and don't worry i don't forget who got me hooked on lost prophets xxxxxxxxx
....just had very wise thought.get some time alone with your dad and tell him everything,he may be able to help you or reassure you.it would be so much better if YOU told your dad now then find out later when it is too late,i'm sure he will respect you alot just for telling him,i bet he would also appreciate knowing that you feel you can talk to him about it.
does that make sense?lots of thoughts came into my head at the same time,lol.
luv ya x
hey sweetheart sorry bout everything thats been goin on in your life but chin up mate. anywho i would love to be in your place but i cant im fuckin "home bound" i put it in quotes cus america ain't my home. any way i hope you can get your life sorted out. and mate just so you know if you really love and know this girl is worth it nothing can stop you or get in the way of you two. so now its all up to you yeah.

luna22
ok what a complete set of tossers you all are...

my words of wisdom.

1.u dont need to tell your dad shit unless you fail your course - whats the point in saying "dad tbh m7 im gonna fail coz i dossed this year" and then u manage to pull it off? your dad is gonna still be pissed @ u for "almost" failing, so in the end it wont matter if u fail coz this "disappointment" is still gonna be there (if it is at all which i doubt)
DAMN fuckin comments 450 words my ass

2. get shut of Hazel. i've explained to you before why, Luke will always be a factor no matter what, and he might just lose it one night, knock seven bells outta hazel, take a knife to you and / or your car and your fubared...

unless u manage to blagg your way into a few million and buy an island somewhere where u hazel and her child can runaway to, i reckon this relationship is doomed, sorry to be harsh
but its what u need so u can get on with your life instead of investing wasted time on her...

basically, what u wanna do...

think, do u wanna go uni? HOW MUCH DO U WANT IT? if u wanna go so your dad will be proud of u, dont bother, if u wanna do it coz YOU WANT IT then go...

and if u really want it, ull work your bollocks off these next few days... even sacrifice a few saturdays...
anyways sorry for like the 4-5 messages i had to leave u have to read them down to up i think lol

good luck man :)