I Miss You
To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real
to know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
that I can't explain
so would I be out of line, if I said
I miss you
I see your picture, I smell your skin on
the empty pillow next to mine
you have only been gone ten days
but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon
but I need you to know that I care
and I miss you
(I miss you)
Once again, it's update time. I seem to have come to a dead end in my life. It would seem my life has no direction, nothing to indicated what path to take. The signs have gone black and i'm lost. It's coming up on xmas 2005, nearly a year since Jo and I started going out (if you put it that way). I've been doing a lot of thinking.
"what would it be like if we were still together?"
"Why did I do the stupid thing and let someone so gorgeous go?"
"Is there any hope for me?"
The kind of questions a regretful person would think. I'm struggling to organise my life. Yeah I have a steady (not well payed) job. A car. A home, loving family. Still it seems somthing is missing..
I know people say "there's always someone worse off than you", but with this feeling, this gut instinct of disaster creeping upon me, I feel like the unluckiest person alive. Sure there are people worse off, but It's not them that matter, It myself.
I'm useless with money, once again got paid and fucking blew it all, I don't even have enough money to get any xmas presents.. but there are soooo many people to get presents for. I feel drowned by life. Like life is opening up into a big black hole, and i'm slowly falling into nothing. A point of no return.
Regretting I fucked up with college, I could have been at uni. Regretting I fucked up with Jo, we could still be madly in love. Regretting losing contact with my friends, we could all be together still. I'm losing my grip on reality.
Everything has gone wrong for me in the last 6 months, I've slumped into a depressive situation I don't have the energy or motivation to drag myself out of. Then again, there is only myself that can help. It sounds soo easy to just put the past behind me and turn over a new leaf, get on and get motivated.. It sounds so easy.. but never is.
I just need someone to take over my life and get it back on track while I take a break and relax my mind and my body. So i can quit spending money on useless junk and start spending money on things that really matter in life.
Clinging onto reality by a finger, rapidly losing grip on that, and those around me that really matter. I need a change, I need to get out of this place and start a new, get a better paid job, get the money, learn to budget, learn to cope with life as it is thrown at me. I just cower in a corner and hope that when I open my eyes everything is fine again, but it never is. It ME that's got to sort it out... but how!?
2005 has been a year of ups and downs, started on a high, ended on a low. But........... I have a good feeling about 2006, I feel it's going to be the year that I get things sorted, get things back onto track and settle myself down. It's up to me, I suppose, to keep that going.
2006 here I come, you'd better be damn ready, cos it's gunna be one hell of a show.
>=]
x
Know how you feel about all the 'what would it be like if we were still together' ect.
You know if you ever need me i'm gonna be here for you hun.
Love allways.. Jo x
Havent heard from you in a while man, hope your ok.
Reading your entry, you say your life doesnt have direction. You feel you don't know what to do.
But you KNOW that your the only one that can change it. This to me, suggest that you do know what to do, but you lack maybe the motivation to do it.
What you need is something to focus on. A goal. Find your goal and stick to it, and you'll be alright :P
here for you always
kacyx
u need a goal to work on, somethin thats gonna keep u going for a long time, it could be working towards a new car, or kittin out ur car now, gettin ur own place, getting a job or on an apprenticeship somethin like that man...
tbh when i move i dunno what im gonna do but i guess ill be too busy workin to stay there
u need a goal to work on, somethin thats gonna keep u going for a long time, it could be working towards a new car, or kittin out ur car now, gettin ur own place, getting a job or on an apprenticeship somethin like that man...
tbh when i move i dunno what im gonna do but i guess ill be too busy workin to stay there
u need a goal to work on, somethin thats gonna keep u going for a long time, it could be working towards a new car, or kittin out ur car now, gettin ur own place, getting a job or on an apprenticeship somethin like that man...
tbh when i move i dunno what im gonna do but i guess ill be too busy workin to stay there
-danielle
What does what mean?
The scoring?