So last night me and Dustin got into a fight which is nothing new but it was goin on forever and this is the 3rd time we fought about it. Well anyway. Dustin wants to do weed and if you know me. I really hate drugs and everything. So lastnight I asked him to choses.....drugs.....or me. You know what he said...DRUGS. I brusted into tears. I couldn't believe it. I felt my heart break. What has happen to Dustin? So his reasion was that he wants freedom. Well I'm sorry. God this is so hard for me to write. I just keep crying even though it happen last ngiht. I feel our relationship going out the window.
I called him just a little bit ago and god it was hard for me to talk to him. I don't think he has any idea how much he hurt me. I can't stop crying. My heart in broken and I should have NEVER asked him the Question about me or drugs. He says he meant drugs as freedom. Well then he should have said freedom instead of drugs.
To me, Dustin has change a lot. He says he loves me a lot...(God I hate this. I can't even write about it without crying)which is hard for me to believe after last ngiht and what he said. When we were getting off the phone last night, you have NO idea how hard it was for me to say "I Love you too" back to him.
You know what I found funny? He never said he was sorry. So as I see it, hes not sorry for saying drugs over me. Do I really want to be with a guy like that? God I must be really stupid or something for my own boyfriend to choses drugs over me, What is so wrong with me not wanting him to do it? God help me!
I do love you Dustin! But you hurt me in a way you have never hurt me before!
~Cassandra
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