well its been forever since ive written in here. just kinda havent been in the mood to write i guess. too much stuff going on i guess. i dont know. im too stressed out. i guess ud think that writing in here would help me but i dunno , i just dont think it would. so ya...life for me just hasnt been fun i guess. i dunno. summer is going "ok". im starting to get this feeling like i have turned into [x0ximbr0k3n] ya know? i feel like im just fucked up. no one is going to think so, cuz no one sees me when im alone. im a completely different person. not two faced. ugh. who gives a fuck anymore.. i wish everything was the way it was before. before all the friendships were broke and lost. before HS became such a horrible place to be. [ even tho i dun like school haha ] when my relationship wasnt fucked up. - :-( i just want to change everything. i wish ..kinda.. i was like Ashton Kutcher in the Butterfly Effect. he could go back in time and change things. i would totally do that. " Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin Apologize for all my sins All the things I should have said to you Hey, I can't make it go away Over and over in my brain again All the things I should have said to you Counting stars wishing I was okay Crashing down was my biggest mistake I never ever ever meant to hurt you Counting stars again " Sugarcult - Counting Stars- cant wait for tomorrow. im getting my hair cut at 9:30 . then im going to go lay out by the pool and get a tan and possibly swim. who knows. i just want a day of relaxation. all this work is stressing me out. i need to relax. tuesday im hanging out with carolyn. i think....lol im not really sure what im going to do yet. well theres no one to talk to now, so im going to go to bed i guess. nitezz Lauren Tara <3