today, someone fell down the stairs at me, but JUST missed me. i froze, stared and then walked away. wearing too high of heels, i wouldve have just immediately dodged away and saved my own ass and let him roll down the other flight of stairs. and now my cheeks are always burning with shame and guilt whenever i think of it. i never asked him if he was okay or helped him up. i just one of those hushed "OH MY GOD" people-cattle who are just bloodthirsty vultures who laugh and are impolite. my god.. my god. i wouldnt survive if someone pointed a gun at me. id freeze like a deer caught in the headlights and end up dead. i wish i wasnt so unexperienced and shakey. its just a characteristic that won't go away in me. i feel like crying in helplessness? im going to take my meds now and feel better.