this is bad. that...that guy...might be getting his license. that is, if he doesn't fuck himself over for the rest of the school year... i'm not so sure he'll get his license. which is bad for him. i feel bad for saying this, but it's not bad for me. i'm so scared of him. sometimes, i want him to go away. if he was fine with being friends, i would tell him. but he's not. he might kill himself if i turn him down. the fact that he's schizophrenic does not affect me in my thoughts about him. it bothers me that he stalks me online. it bothers me that he's so upfront about how he feels. it bothers me that he expects me to always be there for him. it bothers me that he calls at bad times of the day. it bothers me that he tells me how he tries to kill himself. i want to be a friend, but not a catch-all confidant. i really hope that he does not get his license. i will have to disappear. oh fuck. now he's going to explain fucking everything. i can't handle this anymore.