life (or lack thereof) is getting the best of me. my best friend finally got back from south carolina (her week there seemed as if it were forever) and we hung out almost as soon as she got off the plane. that was fun. i love being around her. but i wish she wouldn't tell me some things. after we'd had dinner with conor tonight, we drove to elkhart lake for our concert. all along, we half-bitchedly talked to this girl who's in the band with us...dropping hints that she pissed us off. we still tried to be nice... but anyway, we get out of the car and see the ice cream stand at siebken's resort. lauren, obviously as a result of some stream of thought, mutters "i wonder if abby's working tonight..." who? "abby. you know." but she's in germany. "no. she's not going until august. she didn't go on this one." and she hasn't called me? "oh, she doesn't ever call me, either. i have to call her." but still... "oh, don't worry about it." (end of subject) don't worry about it? this is the girl who we were both almost married to...sort of. in our friend-type way. my other best friend. the girl who offered me her brother's room when things got too intense to handle here. and she doesn't even tell me that she's not going to germany after all. not a phone call...nothing. the moment her name came out of my mouth, a rush of hurt and disappointment flooded my brain. all i could think of was her disconcerting nonchalance with her travels/nontravel. i'm not saying that i want to write her off, but this is getting too frustrating. she doesn't invite me to anything...doesn't call me...doesn't tell me anything about her life anymore. she's so wrapped up in her boyfriend...become so selfish and preoccupied with herself. she has no perception of what her actions are doing to most of her non-boyfriend types. a vast majority of her friends do not have boyfriends. all of them are concerned with other people's feelings, what they've been doing, where they're going. all of them are concerned with their real friends, not the ones that have come as a result of the new relationship. she has to realize that peter will not be around for her after she and dan break up. peter will feel the same way toward her as dan will: bitter. but she goes around, buying/making him extravagant, thoughtful birthday and christmas presents. she never once remembered me on either occasion. i spent a lot of time trying to find her something fun...something that she might find useful. i didn't even get a card from her. so every day, i sit on my ass waiting for someone to call and say, "let's do something!" because, as i now know, i have no idea who's home and who isn't. there is a real reason why i have been bored to tears for the past two weeks. i'm beginning to think that i can't stand people anymore. tonight my mom said, "don't listen to anyone's advice about relationships. just work and travel, alright? forget about the kids, getting married, screwing up like that. okay?" i'm pretty sure that i'm going to listen to her. ironic.