.... Darkness was blanketing the surroundings as josh was walking steadily across his house careful of knocking his memento's and such.When he reached his table...he didn't even give time for my eyes to adjust.And blinding it became as I stood outside his window...admiring him...every inch of him...How I wanted to love him so. But news was he wasn't gay and was planning to get married in 3 months...I despised that... I part away from his window and up to his porch. Ringing the doorbell and watching his shadowy figure come across the tinted windows of the door. He opens it with a smile to great me. "Hey Cody"... "hi" I had replied back...trying to knock off the dirt evidence that had shown on my knee's. "Ready to go to that party? I hear there are alot of chicks" "I guess" I reply, not caring that there were girls there.I turn away and heading to his car...I liked his car...it was very comfy...many images would go through my head as he and I were in the car together...alone...he turned on the music and started to reverse out of the yard. "Haven't seen you in a while......since you moved to Maine and all...I missed you" I took that as an approach and kind of smiled at him. "It sucks up there....I cant see you." He gave me an odd look of confusion and maybe a little of disgust. "Any girls up there?" He smirks a little not knowing my secrets for him. "None..." "none? What do you mean? You have to at least of seen one hot girl haven't you?" "Nope" "well if you would just get your head out of your ass and leave your home then you would be able to see some" "Josh....there is something I have to tell you.... we have been good friends for a long time and all...I don't want to wait any longer" just then josh pulls up the a house filled with lights and smoke with people entering and exiting... "can it wait? We are going to have an awesome time dude." " fine..."we walked up the steps of the so-called party...people were drinking and smoke was flying...we couldnÂt see a damn thing...or at least I couldnÂt. "Josh. I...I can't see" I attempt to tell him as I cough a little from the lack of air going to my lungs. He grabs my hand and pulls me to another room.... less smoke...but still the same amount of voices and figures. "That better?"He says to me as I want to look into his eyes...he never let go of my hand...and this was a little confusing. "I will be back later...you have some fun" I just nod and watch him exit the room...while three girls walk in. "uh...hi.... my friend wants to know if you will dance with her." I look taken back and watch as the three girls are right behind me... "I'm sorry...I." I had to think of an excuse fast...something quick...and just then.... josh comes back looking for more girls I suppose but I did the only thing I could think of..."I'm gay...and this is my partner" I pull over on top of josh.... what the hell was I thinking. I couldn't concentrate...but the girls did leave me be... josh stared.It wasn't a stare of hate or anguish but.... it looked to me like...lust... "finally" he said and he presses his lips tightly against mine...I couldn't breath...but I got what I wanted.... he kissed me like he was holding back for his life and finally just let go.... I urge him off of me...and he makes a small pout upon his face.... I smile... "why didn't you tell me Josh?" he shrugs " I didn't want you to be straight and me be confused" I smile again...I was so happy... then it struck me...he was to get married and it was a girl... "what about your girlfriend?" but it seemed he already had the answer. "We never had the chance to talk and me tell her...I don't know if I should...." I turn in a kind of sadness...head tilted to the floor...and he moves his hand up to greet my chin. And he pushed my eyes back into alignment with his..."its okay Cody...I will tell her as soon as possible if you want me to..." the sadness faded almost instantly and in its place was successful happiness again... "since we found who we are looking for.... want to head back to my place?" Josh nodded and we started to exit...josh grabbed my hand again on the way out...I over loomed with excitement...too much I guess because my pants were getting a little tighter...we escape the fog and back to his car.... were I couldn't keep my eyes off of him...and he began to leave.... "You're beautiful"...I told him...and he smiled at me... "well your more beautiful" he looked at me...a lot.... but luckily the road was empty and he was going straight.... "we going to have a competition now are we?" "Maybe so" he grabs my leg."Maybe so..." I didn't say anymore after that...I just admired his existence...and I watch him watch the road...I thought of being jealous that he would pay more attention to an inadament object than to me...but figured none the less, he needs to.... or he might loose me....