I know exactly what they mean by emotional rollercoaster. Whoever "they" are. Probably therapists... but that's beyond the point. The real point is... I love Kayla so damn much. I got to see her for like, 2 hours tonight. And I enjoyed every last second of it. We even mostly wrestled and stuff for a majority of that time, with her pulling my hair and beating the living shit outta me, and me being too afraid to even fight back even somewhat. It was so damn fun though. I can't even think of a better evening that I have had in a LONG time. Oh man, where would I be without her? Even I cannot tell. Her kiss... it sends chills down my spine still. Shit, we've been kissing for almost 5 months, and I still get my heart palpitating. I can't imagine anyone better than her. She's so beautiful, it's just amazing that she would even consider going for me (and I find myself to be very attractive). Yet I am still not attractive enough for her, in my humble opinion. I just wish I always had that feeling from her. Every time I hear her voice, I feel it. But then she has a change in her... I can't explain it, but it's like... a cold side that I never really saw reflected upon me. But I'm sure it'll blow over. I can't wait for the day she is ready to have me again... don't think I'm in denial, I know she still wants to be with me, she just felt bad for ditching her friends. Remember that... she does want me. But Bruce Almighty, I can't explain the amazing highs I feel with that girl, nothing could compare, even when I smoked 2 bowls of Kine on my own. Yeah, that high. Hehe, good ol' metaphors. But I need her, I'm more addicted to her touch... her... being, that I could ever be to anything else. If only she knew how I felt. To see you, when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold utopian dream. You do something to me that I can't explain. So would I be out of line if I said, I miss you.(?) I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wastin away. I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you.