well my hopes were just crushed i'm jumping for joy...haha except not :- so i talked to andrew on the phone. IT was weird and hard. we agreed that we both said stupid things to eachother in the past week and we didnt mean it. And then we talked. i told him i miss him and i 'm waiting for the day his life goes back to normal and he comes back. Then i realize his life will never be normal again and forever he'll be scared. i mean i had to think about what has really fucking happened to him in the past year. .... then finally he was like "....i'm not coming back...." and it was queit...and quiet....and then i hung up. i felt like i was about to puke. (ok then later i did) and....i wanted to rip my heart out and forget about him all together.....but it doesnt work like that so i'm going to save up money to go to california, tell my mom i'm going to visit my aunt and uncle and baby cousin...but then some how see him. like it will ever work.....but hey it keeps me busy dreaming about it. ok well i feel like a piece of crap right now.~later~ ps. BIrthday is in 3 day