why do i always find myself venturing through my dreams into the arms of a stranger? making up things in my head. making myself believe these things could actually happen or may actually happen. i have the need for someone to need me. i feel like nothing. i'm no special person to a certain someone. why am i left out to be alone? can't my tears be enough appology for this to just go away? back when todd and i were talking i felt needed...like i was something he looked forward to...but that didn't last for long. i wasn't so speacial was i? now i just pretend someone cares. it's like memories that have yet to be born, i see them and i feel them but then they go away and i make up another story where someone cares and wants to be with me. --does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?-- i feel like giving up. i don't know where to go from here. things will look up. i have faith. things are always the darkest before they shine the brightest eh? i think i'm gonna go try to dream josh horne please stay away. thanks love.