I'm so sick of people. Just the thought of being one right now is a scary, scary thought. I'm a machine in some rights. I react to certain things, in certain ways, methodically. I'm a human, merely built of well-arranged cells, chance smiling on some lucky god. Yet, I know that the reaction is my choice. I react the same way, but I decide how the gears turn. I decide what the words are, and I decide what I can and can not do. There is no 'I-can't-help-it'. I just wonder why it can't work that way for some people. Some people are impulsive; some let themselves become swept away by whatever breeze may carry them. Some people find that the appeal in letting themselves go isn't in the lax nature of the transition of will, but in the random nature that exists in the forfeiture. It's where the wind will take you, and not the fact that it's taking you to begin with. So, what does that make me? I have my own firm grip on everything. I've made up my own mind, and my emotions are just that. And it has made me happier than I was when I never had control to begin with. Not having that control does make some people happy, but it does leave in its way a path of ruin, I think. I just think the only trouble with that is that it isn't worth it to some people to clean up the mess; and consequently, get their own grip. I think it makes me smart, and it makes others careless. I also think it makes me the only one.