allright. it's been however long. and asit would appear i've not gotten over sam. but i have come to some kind of closure. i've just sent off an e-mail to a friend i havent seen in the llongest time. and in it i tried to describe the feeling that i had when i went snowboarding and said some kind of goodbye to what is quite possibly the love of my life. i simply could not find words emotive enough to convey it. so i wish i spoke wyvern, and you could all hear it. (the language of the dragons, it's form and feeling, colors and shapes, quite hard to describe but fucking amazing to experience) first off the annoying thing. on the last morning of my stay i waved to her at the bottom of a lift, i was waving hello, but because of some stupid fuckwit ("father" i didn't get to be with her for the rest of the day, so i think she thinks i was waving goodbye. that sucked. secondly it was just fucking primo. for anyone who's snowboarded cardrona after a fresh powder dump, you'll know the feeling of what it's like just ot be out there, 9000 odd feet above sea level, CVU, big easy carves, ungroomed off piste trails. it's awesome, one of the rushes of my life. now add samantha to this and you get a truly amazing experience. it was the last day as i said, but the afternoon before i had kissed her for what turned out to be the last time. we were carving up big ass bowls over (for anyone who knows the field) by the chutes and rasberry runs, that kind of area, and i was chasing her down, it was amazing, neither of us fell, we both were jsut so fluent, so smooth, everything seemed easy and nothing seemed to be really there except us and the mountain. te maunga. god. it was great. well,, thats one of the events of my life recently, also i've started a course called conservation corps, but it's more about having fun, so far we've done tramping rock climbing and this week i'm going SCUBA diving. also, te ata hau o matariki, the new dawn of the new year. it was actually quite a while ago, but it marked thebeginning and end of a few things for me. meh. that'll do for my rant for now. sleep well all. susse traume -B0b 1235|070804