"I'll stay on top, desire is easy to repress, but it lingers, it is stronger, learned. The playground seems ill at ease." will i get to see the ending to my story? "Dream of the horses stand insane. sometimes-often contradictions inspire thought beyond sense without meaning freedom, for they are your thoughts, from my words." one dollar specials bag from the bakery: 3 donuts and a custard thing. not bad for a dollar. and now my fingers are too sticky to type. excellent. yes, oft' times i will say what i want, and most times i don't care what people think. i wont censor my self just to conform, not for this undeserving society. politeness, respect, courtesy, sense, logic, aid. they are reciprocal things, two way, give and get given. but this society is not interested. so fuck them. i respect more people than you'd be lead to believe, am polite to those who are in servitude to me, courteous to some of my firends, sometimes, sensible when i'm not trashed, logical always, and i will help, as best i can, anyone who asks it of me. i wasnt going to complain this entry, but someone just raised the topic of NCEA. this is our own daft female-run country's idea of a public education system, it stands for "national certificate of educational (under)achievment" it is a system underwhich no-one fails they simply "don't achieve" fucking pansy start right there. then there are 3 levels of "achievement": "achievement", "achieved with merit", "achieved with excellece" the difference between these is negligable i want a number, i want to be able to say i'm a 98%er, and that dumb-fuck is a 76%er. it gets worse, and that bright cookie got 99%, fuck him. i am old, and i still have to put up with it, bring back the times when 6th C was the highest "schooling" you got, any more than that was tertiary material. i'm opting for a physical job, so that i dont have to do paperwork or any of this bullshit, but no, NCEA got stuck in to that too, now i get to write all about every minor detail of my job, just to prove that i know how to do it.. since when was my supervisor, better yet, my company, incapable of deciding whether they wanted to continiue to pay me to work there. surely if i can do it, they know it, the government shouldn't need to get involved. also, while i'm on the topic of government, i'm sick of paying taxes, they never spend it wisely and never on anything i want. also: they side with left wing minorities like fags and whores. yay: legal prostitution, yay: legal fag-marriage, only we can't call it marriage because the christians get uppy about it. it's a "civil union" now i'm going to have to attack parents, and again the fucking government. we're apparently passing a reform of some bollocks bill passed ages ago, we're removing parents ability to use "reasonable physical force" to discipline a child. worse: some lady got away with whipping her kid with a horsewhip and bamboo cane, it went to court, she was aquitted. how fucked up can it get. a horsehip is designed for horses. i could split someone's chest open with a horsewhip. a horsewhip is not reasonable force. she got away with it, and yet they want to make it so i can't backhand my little cousin for setting fire to my carseats.. *FUCK YOU GOVERNMENT. USELESS SHITS* also there is little sense of family in todays society. parents dont need to do their job, TV is there to take there place. kids get fat: blame McDonalds for forcing you to pile your family in the car, drive the 600m up the road, go through the drive through, physically remove copious ammounts of cash rom your wallet and force-feed you their food. blameles. irresponsible. die fat kids, die lazy parents, die parents who wont slap their kids around for being little shits. less than 60% of UK families sit down to meals at a table, less than 70% even own a dining table. what's mom to do when little suzie wants to grow up to become a prositute: she can't hardly complin, it's legal, an acceptable occupation. now she can't smack her kids a55 and send her to her room, then mom's in the wrong. kids should want to be firefighteres and nurses and vets and stuff: people who HELP others and make them feel better ( i wanted to be a giraffe, but hey.) now, undoubtedly a whore makes someone feel better, for about 300$ and all of 1/2hour if you're lucky. but it's not a morrally acceptable thing. it's supposed to be the seedy undercurrent of society, the dark alleys and such. but no, now it's a legit, taxable occupation. all of this and they WONT LEGALISE DOPE despite the fact that alcahol, nicotine, even caffeine ( in fizz drinks, again making our kids fat, but no, it's the manufacturers fault for not making your kids drink water) are all draining so much of our public health system, policing resources, even TV advertising("it's not the drinking that's the problem, it's how we're drinking" what the fuck is this "we" i've never crashed while drunk, i've never run over kids or broken public property (or private, for that matter), i've never been hospitalised with alcahol poisoning. it's not how ww're drinking, it's how theyhave been conditioned to drink) it's not funny. and we waste too much police time/effort jailing (into our already over-crowded(solution: build more *rock on govt. fucka55es*prisons) people who like to have a quiet toke at home. where is the sense? where? if ANYONE can find ANY SENSE in ANY OF MY GOVERNMENTS POLICIES PLEASE point them out, i'm desperate to know that at least some exist... crike, if everyone in the world that i wanted dead died, there wouldn't be many left. okay. way too long, but it's all there. not really, but what isn't i'll get to later. grrr. _R0b 1907|130605