Good fortune. my mother and i think the same, she said something yesterday, and i thought something, then she said what i was thinking. yes, it went like this: it was raining, i was in the car mum:"i'll just go accross and get the umbrellas (she intended to buy because they're on special) shall i? even though it's raining" siblet:"yes, just.. go" mum:"i'l get wet walking over" i thinks: "not on the way back though (she'd have new umbrella)" mum leans back into the car and says:"i wont get wet on the way back though will i *laugh*" this is perturbing, even samantha and i dont think the same... we think alike, and know what each other'll be thinking ( so too with rachel) BUT NOT THE SAME. meh. secondarily: i was thinking t'other night (2 nights ago actually) about aladdin, and his genie, and if i had 3 wishes what they'd be.. surprisingly i's quite selfless.. i wished good things for all my cons. corp. i wished rachel would find her husband and be happy and shit, i even wished the bratlet child, vienna, well.. i also wished that my mum would win lotto big time, like millionaire ways, that didn't quite happen but she rang the other day and said "guess what". i said "you won 700$ in lotto?" demi-joking, she said.. "no.. 649.80$"(or something, i didnt much listen) the only thing i wished for myself was sam.. that she'd could be back here, with me, and i could just mung (thank-you oskaryz) out for the rest of my life with her i also thought hard about people i hate, and decided to leave them be.. last night i thought about the movie se7en (i'd just watched russian ark (brilliant, brilliant movie) so i dun know why i's thinking of se7en, but i was, and i was thinking if i was brad pitt, adn that guy had killed sam, and her head was in a box 150 yds away, and i had a gun, what my choice would've been. it's the calm, calmness scares people, when you do 'irrational' things or when irrational things happen and you stay calm, people get scared anyway, i've been immune ot mind games and psycology for some time, and normally i'm the calm scary one. i planned it out like this: i thought myself rather cruel and thought: who the fuck am i to inflict such evilness on this shit then i thought: he's just killed the only person on the planet i'll ever really love then i thought: he's a dumb catholic fuck, if i kill him i'm giving him what he wants, his god will damn him to purgatory, he'll spend a few millenia there, repent for his sins, get to heaven in the end. then i thoguht: who am i to play god with this schmuck ( i used a fair few more expletives), i want him to go through the shitty legal system and get well and truly fucked in the a55 in prison (in my mind there really isn't anything worse than being a prison bitch(i went to boarding school, i know what prison is like) anyway, i realised that justice is never really served, not by me, not by a judge, not even by being fucked in the a55 in prison, not even by his god, his god is not my god, his god is meagre and accepting. and i was stumped, how in the hell could i show this fucker just how much he's hurt me? i probably wouldn't have enough self sontrol to drop the gun so i'd've got morgan freeman to have droped the clip out of it, leaving me with a round in the chamber, which i would put in that cunt's leg. i then thought that, he's going to prison, so i'd hack off his right hand and break off all but his forefinger and thumb on his left, enough to hold toilet paper, or a glass of water.. the essentials really, he liked writing so that would make it impossible for him. he wouldn't be able to defend himself from getting a55 rammed in prison either. and back to my thinking about cruelty. these thoughts kept me up til after midnight (i'm old, i need my sleep) i never really resolved it. but i think my plan to make the remainder of his life miserable, while not achieving anything, would make me feel better i thought it wouldn't really have an effect on him, when you're calm you can accept anything, and rationalise it. so i decided i'd tear into his religion, i'd disprove it as very well i can, then i'd surround him i'd parade him through society, through the people he killed, through everything he despised, and i would leave him powerless and 8/10 fingers short to watch this fucked up society, with all it's vices. i would quite literally torture him. again with the cruelty. anyway, that started positive, ended negative, but i'm feeling positive. think about it though: what would you do if someone smulgy and self-righteously decapitated your most loved one? anyway: happy happy thoughts do not dwell on negativity. mostly psychotic -R0b 1233|181204