i have been meaning to write this for a while now, but because this has been down i haven't got the chance. i don't really know where to start. lol. i will start with rebecca and work my way forward....and it might even end with her. i'm not sure if i have written this before, but for quite sum time i have thought that rebecca was perfect. in every different angle and view, i thought she was 100% perfect. after brian died, things have started to change with her..but not permant changes. some times her mood would be bitchy toward me with out her even knowing. this got me thinking late one night that maybe she isn't perfect. maybe she wasn't all that i always thought. but then that little voice came in to my head and started pointing me on the right path aain. i have strong reason to believe that that voice in my head and rebecca are mates. lol. i started to think that the only perfect things in this world do fuck up everynow and then. they have their little imperfections and their bad hair days. moments of anger and moments of mistakes. if they didn't then, they couldn't be perfect. (this is just waht i think). rebecca has her good and bad days just like anyone else and fuck knows i should be a knob and judge her on the bad days alone. the good times i have had with that girl can't be counted. so after about 2 nights of deep thought (and little sleep) i came to the conclusion that my rebecca hasn't changed and that she is still as perfect as she has always been. i went shooting the other day with dad. (3rd june). shot 300m with a 7.62 range rifle. dad, the nazi, tells me that my eyes are a fuck sight better than his and half the other old farts shooting, so i have to use peeps, and not a scope. lol. i shot ok....not the best in the world (yet), but not as shit as i was expecting to be. my first shot didn't hit the target, so from there things only got better. we did 2 sets of 12 shells...and i ended up getting 1 bulls eye and one V bulls eye in my last 3 shots. i was pumped. it was the first time in fuck knows how long that i didn't care i could smell dad smoking. i knew that if i could smell the smoke that he was there watching me. i wanted him to be proud of me..(not that he told me)..but i wanted him there to see me anyways....i just guessed or pretended that he as proud and that was good enough for me. me, joe, pondy and Q got smashed the night before. we were going to have a "quiet night" and have a few cold ones and play the Play Station. pfft. we got wasted and played drinking games and went for walks in the cold night. one thing that we did that i thought was fucking stupid was went for a drive. it was in joe's bomb..and i was driving. what a fucking dumb thing to do...i must have hit a top speed of about 20kms. fuck knows how we didn't wreck it by choosing to go faster or take that corner that little bit quicker....all in all it was a good night. it was kinda gay in sum bits. seeing Q's package isn't my idea of a "man's night out"...or rubbing ice on joe and pondy's nipples...or me getting told to strip...hmmm...maybe just keep that night under the belt for a little while. finally...had the nhill freeza on the saturday (after shooting). i was there for fuck all. about maybe 20mins tops. spent most of the night with rebecca. *sigh*...that girl. she is some thing else. i had a great time... just becasue i was with her. there is no other words to really describe her apart from - "perfect" "beautiful" & "breathtaking". the night was a blur..only because it was spent with an angel. she really makes me happy...she knows me better than most..well everyone really. she knows that i like it when she lays on me and we talk for hours about nothing...when she makes little comments about the speed of my heart- "washing machine"...(if only she knew it was going faser cuz of her!) she is the one thing that i would really do anything for. she has to be my everything. xox