today i was talking to neat and i was telling her about how i like a few gurls at the moment, but none of them are for me. neat replied by saying that if i really liked them, then i would like all their faults as well as their good side. i have gone out with gurls before, but i have never really liked them. walking home today i got thinking about what gurl i would like...and i want one just the same as me. goes with the flow and enjoys life. i have never met a gurl like that. with each gurl that i like at the moment, i look at them and see something that i don't like. it might be one thing...but i stops me from going all out and only focusing in that gurl. damn!! i couldn't sleep last night so i wrote the first eva poem that i have written!! yeah! i thought i might put it in and then explane about it after.. HER she has the best hair that i have ever seen! she has been better than any other friend has ever been. i want to be more than a good friend, but i don't want to break something that won't mend. i hate the way she yells at me sometimes, it makes me feel like i have commited 1000 crimes it breaks me up inside to feel this way, but there is nothing that i can really say. sometimes i stare at her in class, she looks so fragile..almost mage out of glass. i want to hold her close with one arm, and defend her with the other from anything that could do her harm. if she asked me i would protecter her with my life, i would stand alone against an entire army with a singel knife. i want to be with her in good times and bad, i want to be there for her when she is sad. i only want her to be happy, live a good life and not one that is crappy. i was asked what reminds me of you, i said the sky- that answer isn't true. i think of you all the time, even when i have more important hills to climb. i love her with all my heart, as a true friend and more- it really tears me apart!! i want my fantasies and dreams to come true...... i want to be with you! well there is my poem!! i am pumped that i finally wrote a good one...well i think so anyways! this poem was about caitlin... all i want to do now is find this gurl that is like me that i wil like her for who she is...maybe if i get to know some of these gulrs better...i might find a match!? keep cool.. xoxoxo