Valentines day is gay. I'm breaking my new rule to not use the term 'homosexual/gay/woofy/battyboinking' as a derogative term, but I don't give a shit. Valentines day deserves it. It deserves all I can throw at it. Like... my phone. And my tea mug. And the coaster. Take that!! I actually had a pretty cool day to start off with. In fact, everything was fine untill it got to about 4:15pm when it went gay. I had Composing and arranging first thing, which was bearable even as a first-thing-Monday lesson because we just spent the entire hour listening to everone's riff based pop songs. Which meant Jet from me, Led Zeppelin from Clara, and Madness from Laura, to name but a few. Then I had frees, and me and Laura drew all over the back of Alex's work (hahahahaha WANKER) and had fun doing it. We drew snails, and whales with downs syndrome, and bees with downs syndrome, and inbred dogs. Yay. Theeeen I went to the bakers with Alex and some of his friends, and he kept asking me if I was "alright?" for some reason. Probably because he couldn't think of anything to say because he's a spacker (for those of you who might not have guessed, I miiight be hinting at the fact that i fell out with Alex today). He also held my hand for most of the time because I had hold of his bracelets and was about to twang them, but didnt forget to remind me every two minutes that "No, if I really wanted to hold your hand I'd just ask you...". After that we went to watch the year two theatre pantomime, which was really really funny because one of our teachers (I actually think he might be principle) dressed up in a tutu to be a fairy. Good fun. But the best bit was the because of the thing lasting so long and them having to clear up and stuff, we had no choir or theatre. Yay. Then we hung out in the bar with Alex and some of his friends for a bit and one of them (I forget her name, but she's quite cool) and he was arguing with her because she was gonna tell me he liked me (I wan't supposed to know but I figured it out because it was really obvious) because he was gonna tell some dude she liked him, blah blah... but he was all like, I don't care. But she didn't in the end. But they were still arguing so I stood up for her, just jokingly but then it got kind of heated, so I said, I know something really horrible you did the other day (about him being really two faced about Katie) and he wanted me to tell him what it was but I didnt want to because Katie was sat there, but he still carried non badgering me for about the next ten minutes. Then me and Katie had to go to performance studies. And then Alex said I could borrow his hat 'till Thursday. So me and Katie went to performance studies, which was okay, because the guy was being okay, and we got through half the Mozart allright. Then she went home and I went up to the bar and joined in Alex's argument with the girl again, and he was touching my head, but not without reminding me that "No, if I really wanted to stroke your hair I'd ask you..". And then continued to stroke my hair. Whatever. Wanker. So Alex wanted someone to walk with him to the train station (but no one would, probably because they figured out quicker than me that he's a wanker. Lucky them) so dickhead here decided to skive chamber orchestra just so I could walk with him to the bus station (which is on the way to the train station). It was really because I wanted to be alone with him. Duh. So he wanted to know about the thing before. About Katie. So I told him how it bugged me how he was really pally with her and then behind her back said he couldn't stand her. And said it made me feel uncomfortable that he could be like like that with me and I wouldn't even know (using myself as an example). But nooooo. He had to take this to mean thatI thought he hated me, and I tried to explain for about ten minutes, but every time I attempted to walk off he went, don't leave in mid-scentence. So I went back. And all this time he was saying, if you've got someething to say, just say it or it'l bother you. OH MY FUCKING GOD HE IS A COMPLETE TWAT. So in the end I said that if he hadn't figured out what it was buy now he was pretty stupid (I was getting sick of fucking around) so yeah he was talking complete crap saying he did know, but wouldn't tell me what he thought I was on about, because "You know, so why don't you just say it?". Argh and I didn't want to say it, because he was by now really starting to do my head in with his stupid seriousness. And his voice was starting to do my face in. So when he finally got round to saying something stupid like "I can't do it right now, you don't know about all the stuff I've got to sort out..." I'd allready started to walk of saying "Yeah, whatever. Bye.". I just walked. And buy the time I got half way down the bus station and looked back, he'd gone. I don't know why, but I wanted him to come after me. Grab my arm or something and say "Don't leave mid-sentence." but meh, he didn't. And I didnt really fancy getting on the bus and crying, or wanting to cry, so I went back to college, deciding to go late to chamber orcherstra. I saw his friends in the bar when I walked through and the girl said something like "How did you trip go?!", obviously still stuck on the Alex-likes-Lucy theory, but I just chucked her his hat and asked her to give him it back and walked up the stairs to chamber orchestra. I probably shouldn't have done that. She's nice. It wasn't her fault. I'm now annoyed at myself for not listening to his explaination, it just sounded to much like every single other excuse I've heard before. Why can't they just say, look I really don't like you in that way? Why couldn'the just NOT LEAD ME THE FUCK ON IN THE FIRST PLACE. Maybe it's me. Maybe I read him wrong. I shouldn't have walked off anyway. Thursday's gonna be stupidly awkward now.