not to change the subject but your facebook status explain? its ty not t use a stupid cliche but im at the end of my rope with him hey its all good, it helps explain situations sometimes i dont know what to think or do or act or anything i just cant keep up with mood changes and feeling changes and fuck his christmas gift that i didnt accept one minute he tells me hes happy with this chick he met at AA the next hes buying me a fucking DIAMOND RING for christmas you dont give a diamond ring to a friend i dont giv eoyu diamond rings jay doesnt give me diamond rings hes been getting tyson to keep tabs on me to know if i'm hooking up with someone or not because he doesnt think i should because of everything that happened before he left say what!!!! i know thats ridiculous why didnt you say anything before!!? when did this happen sunday after christmas i didnt know what to do i havent told anyone i wouldnt know either between his phonecalls and emails and him getting tyson to come after me i just finally hit my breaking point if he cared that much hed still be here for one thing and for another, what the FUCK thats my issue its like he fucking left me here after i asked him to stay i fucking BEGGED him to stay and he still said no and then he does this and hes fucking upset at me beacause i told tyson taht if the right came along i wouldnt say no right guy* what the hell is up with him really i dont know like i dont know if its normal for addicts to turn all crazy like and such im not sure.... hmm well i can understand at some point yeah but who knows its frusterating hes amazing one of my best friends and i just dont know what to do im giving up ugh i dunno what id even do =( its been bugging for a week now and i just hit my breaking point tyson told me i should stay single untill ty comes back becuase he really loves me he just needed time i've given him ALOT of fucking time 3 fucking years of time im sick of giving him time if he loved me like tyson says he does then he would be here right now with me NOT in arizona with some dumb bimbo this is driving me to drink and i've been smokeing a hell of alot more weed then i normally would cause its the only thing that keeps me calm like now im freaking out AGAIN!!! im sorry i asked haha thats not okay though does he K NOW this is driving you nuts? well i tried telling me he said im being selfish talking about me and trying to make things about me a small part of me a wishing he just stayed an addict and left my life it would be soo much easier i thought i would get rid of all this shit this year this year wasnt supposed to start like this him*** not me i just about hate him for making my year like this and its ok its kinda nice to finally get it all out for once i'm freaking out and some is listening usually im ffreaking out to my self this makes me feel less crazy lets call it an exerp of my current mental status which i shall be calling crazy or phsyco or i dont know men suck......is that a mental staus??? it should be it explains EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! so signing off cause i'm kinda sleepy -LO-