its the first of many letters and thoughts i want to say but dont know how to say it. this ones for ty n jay.... i miss the way things useed to be. how we use to sit around for hours by the pool and talk about everything under the sun and stars. when we would enjoy martinis and wine and pretend we were adults when we knew that it was all pretend. when days were filled with lunches and evenings with parties. i lived the life with you it was my pretend. everything was simple then there was no drama tension or anger. i miss the parties where i got to walk in with three of the hottest guys on my arms, where every girl was jelous of me. i mean why wouldnt they i had three boys the most wanted boys in your group. i miss the countless cruise nights and drinks on corydon. the summer walks down park and wellington admiring the houses and talking about how the four of us should buy a house together. i miss how we used to plan our futures together so that we would never be appart. forever and always that was us best friends till the end. I miss everything. you know its been one year since dillan died, do you guys remeber the promise we made at his funeral. I do, we promised that on the one year anniversary we would all go to his niche and each place a single white cala lilly....i know you two didnt, but i did. i didnt forget, i'll never forget him or the promise we made....remember what else we promised..that we wouldnt let anything tear us appart and look at us know. if D could see us know he would scream, hell i wanna scream. what happened to us? what happened the musketeers? maybe next year you guys will remember maybe next year you wont forget all about your BEST FRIEND. i'm disappointed in you both. i wrote this down not knowing if i would ever send it. if i do thats good it means that i've finally worked up the courage to tell you everything that been eating at me for a few months now. i miss him, i miss you..BOTH of you. i miss us.