I truely believe that everything happens for a reason. It crazy, but one day it will all make sense. Maybe its starting to. I've realized that I need to stop hoping that he's going to come around and be with me. He's not going to come. Probaly ever. Tonight for the first time, I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't see myself with him. I think I just need to let go. I think I am letting go. I don't even know if I want him in my life anymore. But I'm not angry. I understand. It's okay to not feel for someone the way they feel for you. I'm confident. I'm beautiful and I have so much to offer. He doesn't deserve that because he doesn't appreciate it. But it's okay. Maybe one day someone who will appreciate it will come along. Maybe not soon. Maybe tomorrow. Whenever he does come, it will be because he is supposed to come. It might sting sometimes because I do get lonely. I mean, come on, the last time I truely felt affection was at least a year ago. Drunken, sloppy hookups don't count. But hey, I having fun. I can only do this once. Above all, I know everything will be okay. I won't be alone all my life. If I'm the last to be married like I joke, I'll be the hottest bridesmaid and I'll be the life of the party at all my friends weddings. And I'm okay with that. I have myself. I'm smart, beautiful and I have a whole life ahead of me. I'm ready to take it on. By myself. For now.