i don't know what to put for my mood. because i don't know what it is. i called my mom today from school and she sounded really pissed off and told me to come straight home after school. so i did and as soon as i came home, she gave me the worst look ever. like she didn't want to have anything to do with me. i didn't know what was going on until i came in my room. i looked and didn't see anything out of place or anything. then i looked again and saw that my bag i use for the weekend was open.. and it used to be closed. i knew i had some pot in it so i looked for it. wasn't there. my mom wouldn't tell me what was up until maurice got home, but i knew when i saw my weed wasn't where i left it. maurice got home and knocked on my door. i had to go sit at the kitchen table with my mom and maurice and my mom pulled out 3 bags of little bit of shake and my ouch gum box i kept everything in and put it on the table in front of me and told me to explain it. i was pissed cuz there was at least a bowl or two left and i didn't even know i had that. but anyway. i told her it was manly's and she gave it to me when she got kicked out of school. they kinda believed me, but said they were guna drug test me anyway. they asked when the last time i smoked was and i said mardi gras and incubus concert. i think they're taking my phone away and i can't go out during the week, but i can on the weekend. not complaining. and of course, we started talking about my mom and her drugs and whatnot. she cried and it felt good. she made me guess and assume shit for all these years, she was never there when i needed her the most and she was never there because she was too fucked up or in rehab. it feels good to get it out and let her know how i feel, even if it hurts her. i really dont think she realizes how much it fuckin hurts to know that she would have given me up to have all her fuckin drugs and shit. she doesnt know i know that and i dunt wuna go that far, but seriously... iduno fuck dude. im sick of thinkin about it and shit. and i need a cigarette. i'm so over my family and their shit. the next few months are guna be so fukin hard. i miss my lover already. :( .I.WANT.TO.SCREAM.