I feel fat. I tried on those jeans that Summer gave me and only one pair fit. Haha, basically they were mostly too long, 'cause I'm so short. Some of 'em were kinda tight though, but thats just how she wore her jeans. Really skin tight. She kills me sometimes :p I have no idea why I'm writing this entry, I have nothing to talk about. I was talking to Erin. It was quite the fun conversation. She's so awesome :) Things have to get better for her soon. I will make them, haha. Anyways, the whole point of bringing that conversation up is that it made me think of Broc. So last night before he left I told him to have a good time in Jersey with his friends this weekend. He was like ok, thanks. And I was like Happy Thanksgiving and he's like YOU TOO!! And we're talking SO much. Its killing me that I dont know what he feels. Its like I thought about all these things. Ok, while we were going out it was really weird. Like we both didn't know quite how to act around each other and there was this weird tension. Then he dumped me and hung out with Amber for a whole night straight. And they started going out. I died it was like hell for me. Then he talked to me and apologized and stuff.. so we were friends, which I guess I thought was better than nothing. It was weird, he called me once when he was going out with Amber to tell me stuff about this other guy that I liked, and how he wasn't trying to say I shouldn't but he ddint like the guy. Then he told me to call him another time, and we talked for two hours straight. I had to explain to him how to cook spaghetti :p He ended up boiling the water too long and it went all over. It was funny. Then at Carly's party he was still going out with Amber and she wasn't there. I was supposed to be F.W.B. with Cody or whatever, but I hung out with Broc alot. He like climbed into the boat with the tarp over it and was trying to get me to go in it too :p I woudln't though. Then he convinced me to sneak up around the back of Carly's house, through weeds, in the woods, and we were going to scare Corey. It was so retarded, but we spent the whole night together. Besides the fact that he was so freggin hyper because he chugged like eight mountain dews in a row. Then Carly, him, and I decided to go into the house with like Erin and Troy to watch Bruce Almighty. Erin and Troy sat down on the one end of the couch doing their thing. I set down on the other end and Broc sat next to me. That left Carly with nowhere to sit, because other people were filling the chairs and stuff. She like layed down across Broc and me. We were just watching the movie, and all the sudden Broc layed his head on my shoulder. I was so shocked.. but I layed my head on his. Then I picked it up, I mean... he had a girlfriend right?!?! He left his head there for a while and then Carly was talking to him and she goes "Crap, I'm not gonna get you in trouble am I?" And he like picked his head up really quick like he remember, shit, i'm not with Kristin anymore. He was like nah, she'll never find out. then we watched some more of the movie, and he layed his head back down on my shoulder. He left it there until we went back outside. Then we didn't talk like all summer, including after him and Amber broke up in like april. I started talking to him this year again and he asks me about his birthday present. Last year when I liked him, I told him that for his birthday we were gonna make-out on the ski lift. Needless to say it never happened because of Amber. But he said some crap about it... I am so confused. I mean, I care about him still... A LOT! I just don't know if he feels the same way about me. Ok, now that I just went off on a huge tangent I'm going to shut up now. Because there was a lot of shit in that :/