He's gone. He's gone, he's not coming back, I went into hysterics. and he's gone, and I didn't say goodbye, and it just hurts, it hurts so fucking bad. I have no tears left. I can't do this. I can't deal. Edit It's 3.41 AM. I suppose I should explain. My Grandpa died. Not my Grandpa who's spent the last year and a half in and out of the hospital. No, my healthy, strong, just-spent-a-month-and-a-fucking-half-on-the-boat Grandpa. He was supposed to take me to Montreal. He was supposed to give me a ride to school. He was supposed to take me to Marineland. My mom came in and told me. I went into hysterics. I have lost an Aunt and an Uncle before, just as suddenly. But I went into hysterics. I couldn't type. I couldn't see. My hands have NEVER shaken that badly. Ever. I have done stupid things, and I have done scary things, and I have had scary moments. My hands have never shaken that bad. He's not supposed to be gone. I didn't hug him. I'm so self-centered that I just banged my way out of the house, pissed off because I lost my fucking high speed. Yeah. I am that selfish. The last thing he ever said to me? Are you hungry or something? The last thing I ever said back? *annoyed grunt* I didn't even say goodbye when I left. I didn't even say I love you. I haven't hugged him in over a month. I don't get to hug him ever again. What about fucking Marineland? ~Katie