'So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place So please forgive what I have done No you can't stay mad at the setting sun Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually There is nothing left to do but sleep.' --- Finally, I had the car for yesterday. So I'm driving around by myself going to meet up with Dave and Mike. Windows down. Left foot resting on the sidedoor (i always do that). My music blasting out of the speakers at a volume that is well, destructive. Being in my solitude that way, it gets me thinking. I learned two things on my joyride: 1.) Unlike that cheesy comparison I used last entry, life is not a freaking rubix cube. THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE OUT! It's too random. I need to stop trying to make sense of it all. Heh, so i figured out that there is nothing to figure out. 2.) Which led me to my next thought.. I go and complain about people getting too absorbed in their own lives. Meanwhile, I've been sitting around all sad and confused and well, trying to sort out my life. Even i'll agree to call myself a damn hyprocite this time. --- Haha, I'm so ridiculous. Hahah. Anyway after this epiphany, I've been doing alot better. I had an awesome, mellow time with guys. I could've chilled with them all day. But I told mom we'd spend some time together. That was cool too. We went out to eat. Then, we got paint supplies. My mom wants me to paint a picture of my Dad on the bridge. He used to be a bridgepainter. She wants my painting to be like a present or something. I'm going to do it. I hope he likes it. I'm not sure if he will though- considering it might remind him of when he got knocked off the bridge. We'll see how that goes. =/ Mom and me also bought alot of books. I've been reading alot more this summer. I just finished 'Hairstyles of the Damned.' Very awesome, hilarious book. I'd recommend it. Now i'm reading 'The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.' Crazy documentary book about hippies. During the second chapter, the narrator is laughing about how they find metaphors to life in almost anything. I started laughing. --- I think I've developed a liking for a someone. Not like it will go anywhere, because well I am me and he is he and me doesnt have luck with things like he's. Hahha. I'll go to work now.