'Get a real job Keep the wind to your back and the sun on your face All the immediate unknowns Are better than knowing this tired and lonely fate Does he love you? Does he love you? Will he hold your tiny face in his hands?' ^She rocks the Unrocked. --- The college portion of life begins. I visited my first one. PTI. With a technical school like that, I could be out with an okay paying job, doing something I like, after only two years. I like that idea. I don't want much money anyway. I was asked 'Will you want to get promoted when you're older?' And I said, 'I just want respect.' The man liked that answer, he seemed to like me, and I liked that. Dad was there with me. I don't know if he wants me to go there. He kept saying that he wants to see me take advantage of myself. I want to, too. I'm a 4.0 student and I can do math and science. He wants to see me use that to my benefit. But i don't want to. Those things mean nothing to me. My creativity is my passion. I'm going to pursue that. I really hope I never let him or anyone, including myself, down. Dad still bought me Campiti's after though. He's not mad. Hehe. --- School is going awesome. I have some motivation to go to school this year. That being to look at handsome boy's faces. For once, I don't beat up my alarm clock when it goes off in the morning. Getting up each day for school is actually okay. Even still, my senioritis hasn't kicked in yet. It's just been easy. Let's hope I'm not jinxing myself. --- I had another wonderful weekend. A three day one too. It all just sorted of blended together considering I wasn't home at all. So here's the chaotic report of the "day": We had a tennis match, but I didn't play. I just sat around talking about music with my new friends Meg and Julia. Good deal. Then, I travelled to Nay's new apartment. I walked through the depths of the city to the Free Clarks concert with Stace, Nay and some college dudes. The show was awesome. They played 'Penny on the Floor.' It was sexy. Then off to Bill's party. Never play Circle of Death with only two people. Haha.. I got plastered and turned into Hulk, ripping shirts and falling all over until I eventually woke up hours later. Then, Rachel and me left to go camping with Max, Keifer, Ferg, and his roomate Kyle. Greeted by some machetes, i was scared. But it turned out to be a sweet, mellowed out time. We chilled by the fire, ate more munchie food than imaginable, played Max's face game, and unsuccesfully fished at 3 in the morning. Gather 'round, story time. Ferg, Keifer and me were walking back from the foggy, black lake when our flashlight went out. All we heard was this creepy man with a creepy accent say out of the darkness 'Ya'll ever been out on the lake at night?' Then the Man of the Night goes on to tell us how the bass will hit you in the head? Something crazy like that. So we see a boat being unused. Obviously, it wasn't ours. But we are badasses and got Max and Kyle and went out on it. Ha, it was terrifying. I loved it. I woke up freezing in a tent without Ferg and Kyle? Apparently, they were cutting trees down illegally at 5 in the morning. They had a genius idea to try to walk to SRU from there. Well, it was further than they thought. After five hours of walking, they called us to rescue them. The ride to SRU was awesome. Blasting Incubus and amused by the scenery with uh.. buffalos? Yes. Rache, Max, and me randomly went to a 50's dinner, and even more randomly- I got oatmeal? We fished and then me and Rachel headed back to our town jamming to Wyclef Jean and TLC. I picked up Liz and we met up with Phil, Tom, Williams, and Jeremy. We drove arounded listening to heavy metal while Jeremy scared people with a capgun and a mask on. At paynter, i made Tom try some of my flavored sugar. He liked it i think. Then, I found myself at Chud's house? I don't know who that is still. I made myself at home though and took a nap. I woke up and then I rudely made Tom drive me to Katies. A ton of kids were there. Most of them were passed out though or holding eachother. So I sat with Kevin and we watched weird TV, like Spiceworld, and ate poptarts-- we agreed they were the best ones ever. Very awesome time. The boys left. The girls slept. I awoke to hours of the OC on DVD and donuts. Now i'm home, for the first time in this blur of a weekend. We had a picnic for my Aunt and Uncle's anniversary. Hotdogs and entertainment by Lindsay. I took pictures. I did homework, and wrote a college essay. Chill time is now.. finally. --- I like that my life is not defined. I like that it is really spontaneous. But I do not like that my love life is also like that. Guys just come and go daily. Sure, I live for the moment and the moments are awesome. But I'm sick of having them only to find out they aren't going anywhere. It's getting on my nerves. I'm also sick of seeing him. He looks worse everytime I see him. I get worried, and I hate this because I shouldn't EVER worry about such a careless jerk. =/