sometimes i wish i had dark brooding emotions bursting forth, and sometimes i do have them, but many times i don't. its weird. if i did have them, i'd be a dark poet who would write profound pieces of work. but i don't. i feel like i'm always ok at things, but i'm not the best at anything. i'm good at piano. but then there's that 12 year old prodigy who surpasses my ability in a flash. i'm OK at lacrosse. and then there's that one girl who never drops the ball, has full confidence on the field. i'm a decent writer. but then there's joiana. sometimes i wish i was just absolutely amazing at one thing. i don't know. midol makes you sluggish and drowsy. its an uncomfortable kind of drowsy, the kind where you want to take a nap, but you can't fall asleep. they put something in it where you're drowsy but you stay up ?? i was talking to lindsay. she's going out with david. and she's madly in love and the birds are singing. how come i can never find 'that guy' or even a guy for that matter. i know, i know, everyone else is looking too. but i don't even get those random glimpses at a possible relationship. "its not you, its the time" yeeeeaaa. am i too picky? maybe. am i 'not good enough' maybe. maybe i'll be like my mom, the first real boyfriend i have out of high school will be husband. hopefully not. but i don't want to get married at 40. i want to be married by 27. my newly spray painted desk, is now scratched. supposedly, iwas supposed to 'prime' it b4 i spray painted it. well the home depot guy didn't tell me that. i hope my room looks nice. uggh stomachache. i swear i can only live on sandwiched and salads. anything fried, fatty, creamy makes me sick. its just great. and you'd think i'd be a stick if i didn't eat any of that. not quite. damn genetics. i'm going over to justins house for their 'band practice' i don't know how i got invited to that. i'm slightly scared of the people who are going to be there, and i'd feel very, very odd. oh well. i said i'd go. well although i'd like to just keep writing the random thoughts that come into my head, i'd better leave some for later. OH! but wait. about the song, ok i'm still in my norah mood (never get out of it) but i was just looking at the lyrics to this song, they go like this:If I were a painter I would paint my reverie If that's the only way for you to be with me We'd be there together Just like we used to be Underneath the swirling skies for all to see And I'm dreaming of a place Where I could see your face And I think my brush would take me there But only ... If I were a painter And could paint a memory I'd climb inside the swirling skies to be with you I'd climb inside the skies to be with you what do you think of this song? is it for a lover, or a close friend thats maybe passed? my mom says lover, i say close friend. its beautiful either way.