as mayme would put it, i'm going through a 'rough patch' more like sandpaper rough. not only has mackenzie been hurt deeply by the person who stole her away from me... now my another very valued friend is also going to be stolen away from me. how do i know this for sure? i don't, but being aspessmistic as i am at the moment, thats how it goes. nicole. yes the same nicole i wrote about entries back. david and nicole met and he told me that she liked him. and i told him from the start i did not like her that much. why don't i like her? is it because she didn't give me the time of day to get to know me, to be my friend? maybe is it because she had this prissy air about her that made her seem better than me? maybe but now she's gonna steal david away. even a friend of nicoles, has addmited to me she agreed to what i said in an earlier entry. she also said that all nicole wants to do is party, get drunk, hook up that sort of thing. i guess david found a different side to her. yes nicole can be sweet, very sweet when you meet her. maybe for some odd turn of fate i got the skewed image of her. probably. because well if david likes her, and david is one cool cat, then she can't be that bad. can she? i am also selfish. spoiled brat. only thinking of myself. inconsiderate. i only want these people to myself. i am so confused. i felt my heart almost tearing in half when david said he liked her, because, well one half was saying great! yay david go get yourself a girlfriend! but the other, well the other was saying, flashing a neon sign saying, 'wait, david might get hurt, u know nicole differently. wait, david is being taken away from you, he'll get sucked into her little world, stop it!' but i'm not him. i can't control him. i am also a psychopath, so all what i just wrote could be imaginations and crap. but my heart tells me otherwise. i tellyou, it was the mirror i broke at camp. because of that mirror, anton didn't like me (a guy i realy liked at camp) mackenzie was stolen from me, and then hurt horribly, and now david. next thing i know, i can't go see willa during thanksgiving. i should've found a sea cucumber to kiss. although that all sounds silly. ::sigh:: i don't know. ihate being a teenager. maybe i should just suck it up, be friends with nicole, even if it means acting like a groupie or whatever you might call those girls that follow that 'popular' around. for my friends sake. i just hate this.