Tis the season for engagements, tra la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Yes that's right folks another of my beloved friends has just signed herself over to the bonds of a diamond – I mean engagement of course. My darling Shannon informed me this afternoon that her beau of 3 months proposed to her last night, ring and all. She’s agreed on a long term engagement plan (she wants to finish college first). It’s really amazing, the entire engagement virus. One day we’re all young and happy with our boyfriends and girlfriends, and the next someone is engaged. That's the end folks. Once the first person is engaged its all down hill from there. You may not realize this until many years later, maybe not even until your second divorce, but from the moment one of your close friends became engaged or married, your life has been/ will be turned on end. A peculiar state of mind takes over. Mainly in females I'm sorry to say, though I have seen it in a few men, like my brother. Not for the traditional sentiments of “my friend is growing up faster than me and leaving me” or “I have so much to do to help”; no, what turned you , or will turn you inside out will be the unrequited need stemming from some prehistoric cave man mentality that trained us to breed first so that our lines were guaranteed a continuity. The mentality is this – I must be next. Now, I'm not saying that there aren’t people out there who are truly, madly, and deeply in love with each other and the simple thought of being separated from each other is physically painful – hell I hope to be one of those people one day – what I'm really saying, is that once the cycle is put into motion, maybe some people say “screw waiting forever for Mr. Perfect, I want Mr. Right Now.” They may think that because they have dated longer than the person engaged or now married that they’re more in love with their partner and therefore more entitled to the marriage rights. This isn’t true. Maybe, the reason you weren’t engaged 3 months, 6 months, 1 year later married, is because there is an underlying doubt within your heart telling you * BEEP * wrong person, keep looking. (I thank GOD my brother heard that beep before it was too late and he married an adulterous, lying whore.) I give thanks that the level of maturity most people have, goes up when they find THAT person. The one they’ve been waiting for. I think it is one of the signs that you’ve found the one when waiting becomes the non option and its just a matter of planning and invitations stopping you from saying “I do”. Jess and Mike are a prime example. Before Jess met Mike, she was a little wild. Her freshman year was crazy and I was terrified she was going to drop out because she was having issues with the school. She met Mike and BAM! Her mentality and actions did a 180. She became a model student under the encouragement of her man, got engaged a few months later and were married the next summer. I was one of those people that was really afraid that she would drop out of school after being married (sorry Jess, I didn’t have faith at the time). I was wrong. It was most likely because of her husband that she stayed in school and is doing so well. Maturity level – Adulthood. Perfect Match. When you find love, you know, because your friends support you, and your man (or woman) makes you be the best you can. I hear this with Shannon when she talks about Ryan. I've only known Shannon a few months, less than a year really, but until she met Ryan I had never heard her laugh honestly without sarcasm. She talks to me about him and I swear she must be glowing on the other end from all the powerful vibes she’s sending out. Being with him, makes her love herself, makes her try. She’s actually EATING! (She’s skinny as a rail and for as long as I’ve known her only eaten one meal a day to maintain her ubber skinny body. Of course she gets sick like crazy because of this. The man sat her down and told her she needed to eat. Done.) Moving away from the topic of knowing when its love and back to the virus known as engagement, I must say one final thing. Don’t do it just to be a sheep, do it because you can’t be without this person and survive. “Being IN love was like having a virus. It arrived, you got a bit hot and sweaty for a while, then it went away again. Actually *loving* someone was more like having a leg amputated. As long as you were together, it was fine. When they let go you fell down and couldn't get up.” (from a fanfic I can’t remember the title of – credit to the author, not me.)