well, well, well. last night was just another eventful thursday. it always happens on a thursday. but when i asked monica today if she thought he would ever get over it, she sed, "if he loves you he will..." and that made me think, "she's right." so i guess we will see. i hate how things have to be THIS hard, and THIS confusing, and THIS depressing, and THIS lonely, and THIS horrible, and THIS wrong... THIS is all WRONG. things shouldn't be going like this. we are supposed to be all happy, and luvy- duvy, and NOTHING BUT smiles, laughs, and giggles. but its not that way right now... it's all a big mess. and it's all b/c of something stupid. and right now it's hard to see that "everything happens for a reason." well, y this? y me? y with him? y couldn't this happen with one of the other ones that weren't as important??!! huh?!?! he is *ThE One* and of course, he would be the person who all of this happens with. y can't he understand that if i could i wouldn't do it, if i could i would want him to be the one who was there, but he wasn't and things just didn't happen that way and now i wish more than ANYTHING that they did. "Fallen" Heaven bend to take my hand And lead me through the fire Be the long awaited answer To a long and painful fight Truth be told I've tried my best But somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer And the cost was so much more than I could bear Though I've tried, I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... We all begin with good intent Love was raw and young We believed that we could change ourselves THe past could be undone But we carry on our backs the burden Time always reveals The lonely light of morning The wound that would not heal It's the bitter taste of losing everything That I have held so dear. I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... Heaven bend to take my hand Nowhere left to turn I'm lost to those I thought were friends To everyone I know Oh they turn their heads embarassed Pretend that they don't see But it's one missed step One slip before you know it And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed Though I've tried, I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so...