idk what my deal is. i get so jealous and mad about the littlest things with eddy. if he ever left idk what i'd do. i'd be no one... nothing. this is why i think i have a problem. not just one, either... many, too many. idk if it's cus i am on my period that i feel like this or if i really have finally realized that i do have things going on in my head and life that i need to work out. i just care about this kid so FUCKEN MUCH! i love him so much that i hate it. who in the hell gets mad cus he hugs some girl in front them? me! thas who. i just don't want another girl to even THINK for a split second that he cares about her or that she means something of worth or that she thinks she "got him." even if she does mean something to him, i dont want her to. and ik it's selfish and horrible, but that's just how i feel. i can't lie about my feelings cus that wont get me anywhere. and what pisses me off even more is that i got pissed off about it in the first place. i'm andrea sottile, i don't care about stupid shit like that.... except, i do... man, i am fucked up. i am a selfish, greedy, careless person. all i seem to care about is me. i just don't want him doing things that he wouldn't want me to do. i don't want his arms around another girl!!!! and i'm sorry... i'm sooo sorry, but thas just the way i feel... :( and it's not only that i care soooo much about him, it's that i'm not sure that he cares about me as much as i care about him. i mean... ik that he cares, but he doesn't understand how madly in love i am with him and this way i think it's impossible for him to feel for me as i do for him. and like... i was thinkin today that if there was another girl out there like me, but that looked 10 times better he'd pick her. idk... i just don't think i am good enough for him a lot of the time. esp since all of his lil girl friends look like fucken models.... *sighs* i just don't think i am enough. and i don't wanna leave him, cus i love him and ik he loves me.... but it's just hard being with someone that u don't think u are fit for...