If I could sleep all day I most certainly would ... but I can't I have to be at work in an hour and a half. I get to walk though . so I think of it as a joyous occation ! I cannot wait for August to end and I feel so bad saying that because I love summer so ...but I just don't anymore. Yes I know money is wonderful but it is only wonderful when you have time to spend it. I am so exhausted and angry and sad . Drifting drifting drifting.... So afraid of losing people ... so afraid . Why am I so committed to my friends? Because they are the only family I've got? but I dont think they understand that . Now my friends are the people i work with and they dont even know it . STUPID FUCKING SUMMER TAKING PEOPLE !!! FINE! I"LL SHOW YOU!! " and so we disconnect the lights go out around us, its called the life effect" I miss this..... so much .